DuAnneSeeley.com

Friends are an important part of life and without them life would not be as rewarding.  I’ve learned that some friends are in your life for only a season, some for a reason and a few for a lifetime.  Here are 7 types of friends that I Need…

1.  THE FUN FRIEND

Laughter is good medicine for the soul and so is a fun friend.  This type of friend has a great sense of humor and is just fun to have around. You laugh a lot together and probably cry together too,  from laughing so hard or at the right movie.  I have never been into shopping (not even the day after Thanksgiving), but I can handle it with a fun friend.  She can even make cleaning fun.  The more of these you have the better!

2.  THE POLITICAL FRIEND

I enjoy being active in politics and that involves keeping informed of all that is going on.  My political friend and I enjoy discussing issues and sharing our views.  We share current articles, emails and new reports. Liz has been the best political friend I have ever had.

3.  THE FIT FRIEND

These friends are important but I seemed to have more of them when I lived in California. Lots more. This type of friend is obviously fit and eats healthy. Much of what you do centers around being healthy and you probably exercise with her sometimes. My current schedule makes it difficult to exercise with a friend but it’s still important to grow in the area of fitness.  Julie was the most healthy friend I ever had and I sure miss connecting with her.

4.  THE HEART FRIEND

The heart friend is one that I can share the deepest longing of my heart, my dreams, passion and the depths of my soul. We talk  lot about Jesus, God’s Word, how the Holy Spirit is speaking to us and ministry.  These friends are rare jewels and come and go as I move around the country.

5.  THE PROVERBS 31 FRIEND

This friend is one who has been married longer than I have been and she will have children who have passed the stage that mine are in.  She is not perfect because none of us are but she has walked the road before me and strives to be a godly wife and mother.  She is a great sounding board. The bottom line is that she motivates and challenges me to be a better wife and mother.

6.  THE INTERCESSOR FRIEND

This is a friend that I can pray with. She has a heart and passion for prayer, does it and believes in the power of it. Terry Porteles was my intercessor friend in NYC and we prayed together as well as corporately at the Brooklyn Tabernacle Prayer Meeting on Tuesday nights when I lived in NYC.  Even if distance separates you can pray on the phone together.

7.  THE MENTOR FRIEND

This friend is rare indeed but they are out there of you want them bad enough.  When you connect with a mentor friend either casually or in a structured setting, they will challenge you to stretch and grow.  The first female mentor friend I had was Sheryl Fleisher and she challenged me on having a dynamic walk with Christ through prayer and in areas of ministry. Geri Scazzero challenged me in emotionally healthy spirituality.  Kathy Keller challenged me when I lived in NYC on trusting God with my children.

In my field of work I have had male mentors but because I am married and they are married we are not going to hang out together.  These mentors I will share about at another blog post.

This list is not all inclusive but the most important for me.  Sometimes what you learn from friends will overlap but I have found that most women have certain strengths that draw me.  Don’t you love hanging out with women you connect with? What about you?  Who are your girlfriends?

Guidelines For A Mission Team No One Will Ever Forget…Ever!

With summer behind us churches will no doubt begin the process for choosing mission trips for next year. Before making your choices here is a true story of one team who came to our church to minister…

Their Guidelines…”First of all choose a location that you really just want to vacation not because you want to minister.  Plan your own agenda before you arrive so that you can tell the pastor that you have your own plans while you are there.  Don’t raise any funds to cover the cost of your trip.  Assume the local missionaries are over funded with  a surplus and don’t know what else to do with their resources other than spend on you.  Besides, it is more blessed to give to you than they receive.

Choose what to preach at the Sunday outreach event without asking the pastor what he  would like. Tell him you have a message that every church in America needs to hear and you prefer to share that vs doing a topic he believes would be good for an outreach event.

At the first meal with your host family (the Lead Pastor) be sure to tell them that you don’t like the menu and after saying the blessing ask the hostess to cook something else. Do this throughout the entire trip and complain and criticize the food as much as possible. After meals and snacks never lift a hand to help with clean up.  Let the lead pastor and his wife clean up after you because you are at their hotel.  Leave dirty napkins and kleenex all over the floor along with your candy wrapper and empty water and soda bottles. They enjoy cleaning up after the 8 people staying in their home while you are playing their kids video games and enjoying your vacation.  It’s also good exercise for the pastor to clean up after your team of 8. They probably need the exercise because they are only working 70-80 hour weeks. You are giving the lead pastor and his wife a great opportunity to minister to you and they should be grateful you are there.

Because you have come with your own agenda you can totally blow off what the pastor would like for your team to do.  After all, how are they supposed to know you really just wanted to come to NYC to see the sites. They will never know that you picked their church to visit this week because you just wanted to visit NYC.  Assume the person who put you in contact with them will not communicate this to them later.

During your time in the home of the pastor, assume that having a large group stay in their home is never a burden on the family.  After all, they are so blessed to have you and your team in their home.  Leave trash everywhere because you are used to living like pigs and your host family needs to accept you as you are.

Don’t say thank you to the pastor and his family for anything.  Don’t say please or excuse me. Do everything you can to make more work for them. Don’t offer to help with anything.Be rude, loud, arrogant and obnoxious After all you are their guests and on vacation.

Wear a hat to every meal even when you hear the pastor’s wife tell her son that he cannot wear a hat at the dinner table.

Make as much noise as you can after the children and the family go to be at 10 PM.  It does not matter that they have school and have to get up early.  Even when you are asked at 1 AM to keep it quiet continue to be so loud that the family cannot sleep.  They probably don’t know you are sleeping in until 11.  When one of the children go to bed at 10 PM with a stomach bug continue to be loud as possible. When the wife is in bed with a migraine ask the pastor to cook another meal for you at midnight. Don’t offer to clean up after this because you and your team are tired. Let the pastor and his wife clean up after you.

At meal time when the pastor’s wife cancels dr. appointments so that she can cook lunch for your team, decide at the last moment that you are going to Applebees instead. Don’t call and inform her of this so that she is kept waiting keeping the food warm for your team. And never apologize for this or anything else. After all asking forgiveness is too much practical application of scripture.

Instead of going and meeting kids at a local night hangout to invite to a youth evangelistic outreach, kick back and watch TV and play games and chill.  When the pastor’s wife goes out to do this (with the husbands blessing) accuse her of being disrespectful of your team. She should not be doing something the pastor asked your team to do that you declined doing.  Furthermore she should be home serving you. You are an authority of what a wife should do and not do, not her husband.

During your visit criticize everything and everyone you can think of.  Judge the pastor’s in your district, the DS and others in your denomination because you are new in the denomination but know more than men who have been serving in full time ministry longer than anyone on your team has been alive.  Tell the pastor to forget everything he thinks he knows about “doing church” because you and your team are anointed and have all the answers.  Advise them that your church should be the model for every church.

Tell the pastor that you and your team go to bars and “R” rated movies because you love people enough to connect with them and the culture.  Say this in front of their children because you are also an expert on child raising and how their family should live and minister.

When the pastor confronts you on all of these things be defensive, unteachable and never apologize for anything. Therefore you can continue your behavior without making any character changes.

On the last night of your trip blow off the pastor ask that everyone spend some time praying and sharing in the Word together before the ministry event the next day.him He should realize you and your team desire to go into the city again. After all it’s not everyday that a team of 8 get a free place to stay while they are in NYC.

When the pastor and his wife choose to take the high road and take up a special offering for you on Sunday morning tell them that you prefer not to accept checks. Ask that they find an ATM in the snow because you want cash.

If you do these things you will make a lasting impression on the church you are visiting.  When you get up and speak about Jesus your character will speak so loud and clear that the folks will hear what you say by your life. Show them your example of a transformed life. “

Unfortunately this IS a true story.  Here are some guidelines we implemented after their time with us…

MISSION TEAM GUIDELINES

1. Require Applications With Reference Letters

Even if they are a pastor we do this. There are young people in ministry today that lack the spiritual maturity and character to lead a mission team for us.

1. Share Expectations and Schedule In Writing

We recommend doing this before they arrive and also ask that the team leader to sign in agreement.

1. Require the Team to Raise Funds to Cover Costs

This been a basic requirement forever but now we insure that each person raises the funding before accepting them on the team.

1. Hold Orientation Immediately After Arrival

The orientation is priority as soon as they arrive.

1. Make Prayer Time Mandatory

Make prayer time and sharing devotions together daily mandatory.

What would you add?

When (not if) we are faced with leaving a ministry, as staff or volunteer, it is vital that we do so in a manner worthy of the God we serve.  Period.  What I have learned over the past 25 years is that we can leave well or not well.

Leaving a ministry is part of being in ministry.  Every exit is different, unique in it’s details, but there are similarities.  Here are 4 tips on leaving well in ministry:

1,  Don’t make promises you won’t/can’t/shouldn’t keep

For example, “I’ll come back and visit” or “you can call or email me whenever you want.”  People will cling to these statements emotionally and be hurt again in the future when they’re not fulfilled.  If you’re planning to visit again next year or vacation or something, that’s fine, but don’t tell them just so they will feel better.  Do your best to make it a clean break for the sake of the ministry and the next person who takes the position.

2.  Never bad talk anyone especially if you’re leaving with tension.

You don’t have to support various decision and people, but don’t tear the ministry apart even further just so you feel like you’ve had the final say and you got your revenge.  Leave with grace.

If you are not the senior pastor but an associate pastor and leaving due to a moral failure of the senior pastor or some other lack of integrity, apply Matthew 18.

3.  Pass the Baton

When leaving a pastoral position do everything you can to ensure a smooth transition. Every new leader will do things differently but I do like to leave a notebook including everything I can think of that I would have appreciated having when I was new.  This includes giving a list of names and phone numbers of people in your ministry as well as computer pass codes, mailing labels, etc.

When I left the college pastor position at UCSD we had an end of the year banquet/party and I praised the incoming staff and told the students how much they would love he and his wife.  I communicated excitement about him and this began to prepare the way for the new relationships.

Before starting as college pastor at Skyline Wesleyan Church Pastor Tim Elmore preached a sermon on women in ministry and spoke of our relationship which helped prepare the way for my arrival.

4.  Once  you leave, it’s hands off.

Don’t contact people to see if you’re missed or entertain those who contact you to continue with some follow up complaints. And when a new person takes over and people contact you about how different it is (because it will be) always encourage them to be positive and support the new leader.

You may not know where you are going next.  You may be clueless, without any leads.  No matter what you know, you have to trust that God will take care of you.  This trust might be with your finances, with your job, with your reputation or something else.  Regardless of what happened (good or bad, right or wrong), God is bigger than the situation.  God is bigger than your worries.  God is biger than your bills.  God is bigger than everything.  He will take care of you.  It may not always be comfortable, but God will provide.

Maintain  level of integrity that will bring glory to God.

i (heart) tim keller

Recently when sharing about his ministry a youth pastor said “you attract people like youself.”  Though I agree with his statement the fact is a ministry will never reach full potential if you stop there. This pastor had a youth ministry that had decreased to a small number and I was asking questions to evaluate the ministry in an area that had good opportunity for growth.  If I were consulted to mentor this youth pastor there are 7 principles I would focus on to help him grow a dynamic youth ministry. Today I want to talk about one that is important in any type of ministry.

CONNECTING

Connecting is critical to growing a dynamic ministry. If you settle for a ministry that only reflects your personality and gifts it will always lack growth and be hindered from reaching it’s potential. A basic leadership principle I learned from John Maxwell is to bring people around that are different from you and have gifts you lack. How can you do that in a youth ministry?  Here are few things I did to connect when pioneering 4 different student ministries from scratch…

My most challenging student ministry was the one I started at a juvenile delinquent home. No Christian group had ever been successful and I was told it was impossible. Most of the kids were in secure lock up for felony charges but the staff agreed to let me have one shot at a gathering with them. What did I have in common with these kids?  Absolutely nothing!  Before the event I found out their main source of activity and enjoyment was ping pong. I had never even played ping pong but I asked the most influential guy in the room if he would teach me.  We connected through ping pong. After that I began to spend about 20 hours a week at juvi until I recruited a replacement. Unfortunately I never did get too good at ping pong.

A campus ministry sent me to a liberal college to help start a ministry that was struggling with recruiting and evangelism.  Here are a few things I did to help me connect with students…I dressed like students dress, I attended student activities, I went to places students go, I asked one of the most influential guys on campus to teach me how to ride a skateboard, I asked students lots of quetions about themselves to help me find their passion and points of interest and then zeroed in on that, etc.  My desire was to become all things to all men in order to reach some.

The principle I have been taught is that connecting is required for ministry growth.  I did many things that were out of my comfort zone. By nature I was a person who was not into sports, outside activity, music or video games. I am the person at the beach who will not even go into the water but sit in a lawn chair and read a book.  Today you might be challenged to see this because I will do anything to connect with my family, friends and other people I come in contact with.

Read a facebook post this week from a youth pastor I worked with at Skyline Church in San Diego who has built an incredible youth ministry at Saddleback Church. Kurt Johnston posted: “New Rule:  Every youth pastor should be required to visit two dynamic youth ministries a year to learn what they are doing.”

What are you doing to grow your ministry?

For more info on this topic read previous post “How To Build a Ministry that will Impact Youth Culture” and see “Called to Youth Ministry” which you can click on at my blogroll.

 

 

Someone once said that if you want to make God laugh share your plans with Him.  If this is true God has had a good chuckle with the Seeley’s. After returning to Madison from NYC our family planned on that being our last move. We live in the same home we purchased in 2001 and were happy to settle back into the community and reconnect with old friends. DuAnne verbalized more than once “we are never moving again.” Madison is a great city to get comfortable in. My plan was to serve the church through LEAD Ministries.  A few ministry opportunities came my way that required a move but I did not feel a leading or peace about them. At the beginning of this year I began to feel a wrestling in my spirit. You know the kind I’m talking about. The kind that says God is about to do something in your life.  My decision was not to share this with my family right away but to just wait and pray. A few weeks later DuAnne began to sense a wrestling in her spirit. She did not share this with me immediately but waited. In March we communicated with each other what God was doing separately in our hearts and agreed on the same message:  God was about to move us. We began to pack and make plans though we did not know the location of our move. Within a few days we assumed the move would be to Birmingham. We were excited about this since we have family and friends there. We found a good renter for our home and our move out date was set for June.  DuAnne began packing and looking for a house in Birmingham and found one that all of us liked. We submitted a contract.  On the evening of May 4^th I received a phone call from my District Superintendent and was asked to pray about pastoring a church in South Alabama. I was a little surprised to get this call and to be honest it caught me off guard. My first response was to say thanks but no thanks. A couple days after saying no I called back to say we would pray about it. The more I prayed the more I felt we should be open to this. Long story short, after two short visits and preaching a service for them the Board voted 100% to extend the call to serve as Sr. Pastor. I was voted in on June 6^th.  We leave Madison on June 30^th. 

We would appreciate your prayers for our family and those we seek to serve and reach with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

(Once a quarter I share a guest blog post with my readers. Because of a number of people in my life going thru some type of adversity I have chosen to share this interview by Pastor Rick Warren.)

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having ‘wealth’ from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, ‘Purpose Driven Life’ author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California. In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
 
People ask me, “What is the purpose of life?”
 
And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body– but not the end of me.
 
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.
 
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn’t going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one.
 
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that’s not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
 
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don’t believe that anymore.
 
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it’s kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems:
 
If you focus on your problems, you’re going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain.’ But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
 
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
 
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.
 
It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don’t think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.
·        First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
·        Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
·        Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
·        Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God’s purposes (for my life)?
 
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don’t get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn’t put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He’s more interested in what I am than what I do.
 
That’s why we’re called human beings, not human doings.
 
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
 
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
 
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
 
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
 
Every moment, THANK GOD. 
 

 

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When I left Birmingham that November for Colorado Springs it was already dark. After a year on staff at Briarwood Church in Birmingham The Navigators had recruited me. I was eager and excited. Within a few hours I was on an isolated highway in Mississippi. The headlights on my car were the only light for miles. I was driving along singing one of my favorite hymns It is Well With My Soul when my car died. The timing of the chosen hymn was ironic and I did feel it was well with my soul. For about 10 minutes. It was 1 AM and not another person in sight.  I remember thinking if my mom could see me out here alone with a broken down car she would freak.  After praying for divine intervention I attempted to start my car several times. Nothing happened. I began to question God’s call. He had called me to full time ministry hadn’t He?  He was Jehovah Jireh wasn’t He? Well where was He now? It was so dark. Around 2 AM by now. This was before cell phones.

 

 Within minutes a car stopped on the opposite side of the road. People rolled down their windows and I could hear music and laughter. They invited me to join them. I felt uneasy and told them no because Help is on the way. I did want to believe the Lord would send help and speaking it out loud seemed to calm me. They informed me that a gas station was just a few miles down the road in my direction.  When they were out of sight I got out of my car to walk and was thankful for the flashlight.  After just half a mile I heard a tractor trailer truck coming. I prayed O Lord, please let him pass.  Please don’t let him stop. He slowed and then stopped. O Lord, please don’t let him get out of the truck. He got out of the truck. O Lord, please let me out run him even though I have on my cute shoes with the high heels that my mom told me not to wear but I did anyway. I couldn’t run because my legs were frozen. He slowly walked toward me and said do you need some help?  I said No thanks, I’m just walking to the gas station down the road. Thanks anyway. His reply:  Well, if you were my daughter I would hate to see her out walking on this dark highway all alone. Are you sure I can’t give you a lift? All of a sudden my fear was replaced with a peace and I said OK, that would be great. Just to the gas station though. I’m on a tight schedule. That sounded pretty dumb but that’s what I said! A schedule?  As soon as we got in the truck I noticed he had a stack of New Testament cassette tapes. I asked with surprise if he was a believer. He said yes and we shared testimonies. He told me how his 16 year old daughter had just come home this day and informed him she was pregnant. He had prayed for help. I tried to encourage him. He asked where I was going and I shared my story of being called to full time ministry. He responded by sharing he would love to do something for God but without a college education or seminary he felt there was nothing he could do.

 

The garage at the station was closed but the truck driver knew the mechanic and called him from the pay phone. The mechanic arrived and offered to take me to my car.  I had a peace about it so I got in. After looking at my car he thought it was too serious for him to fix. He only did minor repair on tractor trailers and I would need a regular auto garage. The bad news was this was the weekend after Thanksgiving. Did I mention I had cash for my travel to Colorado but nothing more? I didn’t believe in credit cards and I was not prepared for this emergency. I didn’t share this info to the man I had just met. He then said:  I know you don’t know me and I don’t know you. But I’m a Christian and believe I am supposed to invite you to come to my home and stay with my wife and I. You’re out in the middle of nowhere and there is not even a hotel around here. I know it sounds crazy but I had a peace about this so I thanked him for his hospitality and said Thank you. I would be most grateful for your hospitality and help. I got in the car and shared my testimony. Before he had a chance to share his we were pulling up in his driveway.  All of a sudden I was thinking that I sure hope he had a wife and also that she was home. I didn’t know that this man had called his wife from the garage to tell her he was bringing a houseguest home. We walked in to find that she had cooked a huge breakfast for me. Thought you might be hungry she said.  After we shared a meal together she told me she had put clean sheets on their bed (their only bed) and suggested I get some sleep while they looked for a mechanic that might be open. They invited me to stay the weekend but I told them I was committed to be in Colorado by December 1^st and had to keep to my schedule. While I was sleeping the mechanic found a garage open called “Christian Brothers Automotive.” I needed a new clutch. They repaired my car and gave me an invoice for $300 and told me I could pay them when I had it. I gave them $100 and after thanking everyone got on the road.

 

The remainder of the trip was uneventful until I was about 2 miles from my exit to Glen Eyrie.  My gas gauge had stopped working and I was out of gas. It was about 11:30 PM and I put my flashers on. Soon a small sports car pulled up behind me. A guy got out and asked if I needed help. I told him what I thought was wrong. He told me he was a police officer and offered to take me to get gas for my car.  We filled the car and I was able to keep my arrival commitment of December 1^st. 

 

A few days later I called a friend at a church on my support team to inform them I had arrived safely and casually shared a summary of what had happened. The pastor called me back and wanted to tell me a mission’s organization had been praying for a truck driver to recruit and wanted to know if I had the truckers contact info. I did.  He also told me that their church wanted to pay for my car repair.  Wow. This was a lesson for me on trusting God in the dark.

 

In my early 20’s this was adversity. Today I see it as such a small hiccup in the road of life. Yet at the time it was a defining moment for me. It was that experience that made Psalm 139 became a fire in my heart. Oh, He even sees me in the dark! At night I am immersed in the light! It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you. Whatever the darkness God wants me to trust him. The lessons God continues to teach me about darkness…

1.      God is in control

2.      God has a plan

3.      God wants to be my refuge

4.      God will provide everything I need

 

What about you? Are you going through a dark time right now?  Are you experiencing…

·        Unemployment

·        Burn out

·        Loneliness

·        Divorce

·        Depression

·        Fear or Anxiety

·        Cancer

·        Death of a loved one

 

Whatever darkness you may be facing God will meet you there.

Last night as Todd and I lay in bed we got into a discussion about the church. We actually arrived at that topic when I told him about a Honda car I owned during my early days on staff with a para-church organization in San Diego. The car had served me well relocating me from Alabama to Colorado and then California. My car was old and had what seemed like a million miles on it but it was a great car. A few weeks after starting a new ministry at UCSD I left a dorm evangelistic Bible study I was leading around 10:30 PM.  Within a few minutes of leaving the campus my car died. I didn’t have a clue as to what I should do other than steer it to the side and walk in the dark to the nearest gas station with a pay phone. This was in the day before cell phones.  It was late. It was dark. I had only been in SD for a few weeks and other than my para-church campus director I had no one to call.  I put my quarter in the pay phone and dialed my campus director. He had recruited me to San Diego to minister at UCSD and lived about 2 minutes from my present location. My apartment on the other hand was inland and about a 25 minute drive.  I felt bad calling him so late but had no other choice. He answered the phone.  Hi, this is DuAnne. Sorry I am calling you so late. Was on the way from my EBS (it was great by the way) and my car died. I don’t know what to do. What should I do?  His reply:  “Call a tow truck.”  Long Pause. Me:  OK. Sorry I called so late. Click.  As I write this I wonder who was that girl? Who was I? I had just moved to a huge city where I had no family or friends. I had no church. (except for the para church group who believe they are a church.)  I was a missionary living on faith. I was supported by individuals and churches who wanted to see college students hear about Christ. I was broke and living on a very low income level. My diet consisted of at least two rice meals a day.  Most of my incoming funds went to housing and such. There was no emergency fund. In other words I was broke. I was from a non-Christian home and made a commitment when I left Alabama that I would not call my parents for financial help.  I believed God would provide all of my needs. Learning the difference between needs and wants is another story.  As a young woman in her 20’s I had so much to learn about life, especially faith, trust, relationships and what the church is according to Scripture.

When I got home to my apartment in Mission Valley I spent the majority of the night praying. Today this issue seems so small to me ( a dead car and no money) but back then it was a big deal. When morning came I remembered there was a girl from my church in Birmingham that had moved to San Diego. I called my Birmingham church and they gave me her number. I didn’t tell Sallie all the details just that I wanted her to refer me to a local church in the area. She gave me the name of a PCA church ~ New Hope Presbyterian Church. New Hope was a small church with less than 100 people attending each week. The pastor, Rev. Andy Noch answered the phone. I spared him the details of being flat broke, scared and having zero relationships other than the campus staff I worked with. I only told him I was new to San Diego and was in a little bit of a jam with my car.  I never told him I had no money. God had told me during prayer through the night that he would provide without me making my need known. Andy immediately offered to send a member of his church to take a look at my car. Long story short they fixed my car. When I asked for a bill for the parts and labor they refused to give me one. This was one of the first lessons of many I would learn about what it means to be a church without walls. 

Many churches today are in trouble. They are unengaged and uncommitted to people in their community. They have become more interested in the needs of those within their walls than those outside.  Their primary purpose is to serve their own members not reach those who don’t know Christ. 

The New Testament church was without walls. They understood that they were to bear witness to the world, to live among unbelievers, serving them, revealing Christ to them. Ministry depends upon every believer. We are to use whatever we have to serve God by serving one another and our neighbors. We are to be salt and light. They will know us by our love.

How about your church? Is your church without walls?

Today I want to want to share what made my Mother’s Day so special. It is nothing unique and has happened every year since my first born was 4.  If you have children it probably happens at your house too.  What makes my Mother’s Day a special memory is the home made card. I love it  and hope that as long as I am living my boys keep this tradition.  As a mother I make my share of mistakes. Sometimes feels like much more than my share. But the card forgets all that and will focus on the good stuff. In my memory box I keep these cards. I imagine someday when the boys have left the nest that I will go through them more often. Today I will store them in their place but not before reading them one last time. Here is part of yesterday…

The Top Ten Reasons That My Mom Is The Best

1.  She loves me sooo much.

2.  She takes care of me.

3. She makes me happy when I’m down.

4.  She cooks the best food.

5.  She loves basketball like I do.

6.  She tucks me in.

7. She is an all star at wiffle ball.

8.  She makes holidays so special.

9.  She sacrifices so much for us.

10.  She loves me no matter what I do.

A Poem For Mama

You are the master of everything you do.

You are a dependable source of comfort.

You help me when I fall.

You help me in times of trouble.

You support me when I call.

I love you more than you know.

You have my total respect.

If I had a choice of mother’s

You would be the one I would pick.

Thanks for all you do.

Mother’s Day 2010 come and gone. But with these cards I will always remember today. Thank you Matthew and Aaron. Out of all the little boys in the world, if they were all lined up, you are the two I would choose. You are two of the most precious gifts God has give me. I love you! Mama