DuAnneSeeley.com

Guidelines For A Mission Team No One Will Ever Forget…Ever!

With summer behind us churches will no doubt begin the process for choosing mission trips for next year. Before making your choices here is a true story of one team who came to our church to minister…

Their Guidelines…”First of all choose a location that you really just want to vacation not because you want to minister.  Plan your own agenda before you arrive so that you can tell the pastor that you have your own plans while you are there.  Don’t raise any funds to cover the cost of your trip.  Assume the local missionaries are over funded with  a surplus and don’t know what else to do with their resources other than spend on you.  Besides, it is more blessed to give to you than they receive.

Choose what to preach at the Sunday outreach event without asking the pastor what he  would like. Tell him you have a message that every church in America needs to hear and you prefer to share that vs doing a topic he believes would be good for an outreach event.

At the first meal with your host family (the Lead Pastor) be sure to tell them that you don’t like the menu and after saying the blessing ask the hostess to cook something else. Do this throughout the entire trip and complain and criticize the food as much as possible. After meals and snacks never lift a hand to help with clean up.  Let the lead pastor and his wife clean up after you because you are at their hotel.  Leave dirty napkins and kleenex all over the floor along with your candy wrapper and empty water and soda bottles. They enjoy cleaning up after the 8 people staying in their home while you are playing their kids video games and enjoying your vacation.  It’s also good exercise for the pastor to clean up after your team of 8. They probably need the exercise because they are only working 70-80 hour weeks. You are giving the lead pastor and his wife a great opportunity to minister to you and they should be grateful you are there.

Because you have come with your own agenda you can totally blow off what the pastor would like for your team to do.  After all, how are they supposed to know you really just wanted to come to NYC to see the sites. They will never know that you picked their church to visit this week because you just wanted to visit NYC.  Assume the person who put you in contact with them will not communicate this to them later.

During your time in the home of the pastor, assume that having a large group stay in their home is never a burden on the family.  After all, they are so blessed to have you and your team in their home.  Leave trash everywhere because you are used to living like pigs and your host family needs to accept you as you are.

Don’t say thank you to the pastor and his family for anything.  Don’t say please or excuse me. Do everything you can to make more work for them. Don’t offer to help with anything.Be rude, loud, arrogant and obnoxious After all you are their guests and on vacation.

Wear a hat to every meal even when you hear the pastor’s wife tell her son that he cannot wear a hat at the dinner table.

Make as much noise as you can after the children and the family go to be at 10 PM.  It does not matter that they have school and have to get up early.  Even when you are asked at 1 AM to keep it quiet continue to be so loud that the family cannot sleep.  They probably don’t know you are sleeping in until 11.  When one of the children go to bed at 10 PM with a stomach bug continue to be loud as possible. When the wife is in bed with a migraine ask the pastor to cook another meal for you at midnight. Don’t offer to clean up after this because you and your team are tired. Let the pastor and his wife clean up after you.

At meal time when the pastor’s wife cancels dr. appointments so that she can cook lunch for your team, decide at the last moment that you are going to Applebees instead. Don’t call and inform her of this so that she is kept waiting keeping the food warm for your team. And never apologize for this or anything else. After all asking forgiveness is too much practical application of scripture.

Instead of going and meeting kids at a local night hangout to invite to a youth evangelistic outreach, kick back and watch TV and play games and chill.  When the pastor’s wife goes out to do this (with the husbands blessing) accuse her of being disrespectful of your team. She should not be doing something the pastor asked your team to do that you declined doing.  Furthermore she should be home serving you. You are an authority of what a wife should do and not do, not her husband.

During your visit criticize everything and everyone you can think of.  Judge the pastor’s in your district, the DS and others in your denomination because you are new in the denomination but know more than men who have been serving in full time ministry longer than anyone on your team has been alive.  Tell the pastor to forget everything he thinks he knows about “doing church” because you and your team are anointed and have all the answers.  Advise them that your church should be the model for every church.

Tell the pastor that you and your team go to bars and “R” rated movies because you love people enough to connect with them and the culture.  Say this in front of their children because you are also an expert on child raising and how their family should live and minister.

When the pastor confronts you on all of these things be defensive, unteachable and never apologize for anything. Therefore you can continue your behavior without making any character changes.

On the last night of your trip blow off the pastor ask that everyone spend some time praying and sharing in the Word together before the ministry event the next day.him He should realize you and your team desire to go into the city again. After all it’s not everyday that a team of 8 get a free place to stay while they are in NYC.

When the pastor and his wife choose to take the high road and take up a special offering for you on Sunday morning tell them that you prefer not to accept checks. Ask that they find an ATM in the snow because you want cash.

If you do these things you will make a lasting impression on the church you are visiting.  When you get up and speak about Jesus your character will speak so loud and clear that the folks will hear what you say by your life. Show them your example of a transformed life. “

Unfortunately this IS a true story.  Here are some guidelines we implemented after their time with us…

MISSION TEAM GUIDELINES

1. Require Applications With Reference Letters

Even if they are a pastor we do this. There are young people in ministry today that lack the spiritual maturity and character to lead a mission team for us.

1. Share Expectations and Schedule In Writing

We recommend doing this before they arrive and also ask that the team leader to sign in agreement.

1. Require the Team to Raise Funds to Cover Costs

This been a basic requirement forever but now we insure that each person raises the funding before accepting them on the team.

1. Hold Orientation Immediately After Arrival

The orientation is priority as soon as they arrive.

1. Make Prayer Time Mandatory

Make prayer time and sharing devotions together daily mandatory.

What would you add?

 

 

Someone once said that if you want to make God laugh share your plans with Him.  If this is true God has had a good chuckle with the Seeley’s. After returning to Madison from NYC our family planned on that being our last move. We live in the same home we purchased in 2001 and were happy to settle back into the community and reconnect with old friends. DuAnne verbalized more than once “we are never moving again.” Madison is a great city to get comfortable in. My plan was to serve the church through LEAD Ministries.  A few ministry opportunities came my way that required a move but I did not feel a leading or peace about them. At the beginning of this year I began to feel a wrestling in my spirit. You know the kind I’m talking about. The kind that says God is about to do something in your life.  My decision was not to share this with my family right away but to just wait and pray. A few weeks later DuAnne began to sense a wrestling in her spirit. She did not share this with me immediately but waited. In March we communicated with each other what God was doing separately in our hearts and agreed on the same message:  God was about to move us. We began to pack and make plans though we did not know the location of our move. Within a few days we assumed the move would be to Birmingham. We were excited about this since we have family and friends there. We found a good renter for our home and our move out date was set for June.  DuAnne began packing and looking for a house in Birmingham and found one that all of us liked. We submitted a contract.  On the evening of May 4^th I received a phone call from my District Superintendent and was asked to pray about pastoring a church in South Alabama. I was a little surprised to get this call and to be honest it caught me off guard. My first response was to say thanks but no thanks. A couple days after saying no I called back to say we would pray about it. The more I prayed the more I felt we should be open to this. Long story short, after two short visits and preaching a service for them the Board voted 100% to extend the call to serve as Sr. Pastor. I was voted in on June 6^th.  We leave Madison on June 30^th. 

We would appreciate your prayers for our family and those we seek to serve and reach with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

(Once a quarter I share a guest blog post with my readers. Because of a number of people in my life going thru some type of adversity I have chosen to share this interview by Pastor Rick Warren.)

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having ‘wealth’ from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, ‘Purpose Driven Life’ author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California. In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
 
People ask me, “What is the purpose of life?”
 
And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body– but not the end of me.
 
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.
 
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn’t going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one.
 
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that’s not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
 
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don’t believe that anymore.
 
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it’s kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems:
 
If you focus on your problems, you’re going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain.’ But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
 
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
 
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.
 
It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don’t think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.
·        First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
·        Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
·        Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
·        Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God’s purposes (for my life)?
 
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don’t get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn’t put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He’s more interested in what I am than what I do.
 
That’s why we’re called human beings, not human doings.
 
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
 
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
 
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
 
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
 
Every moment, THANK GOD. 
 

 

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Last night as Todd and I lay in bed we got into a discussion about the church. We actually arrived at that topic when I told him about a Honda car I owned during my early days on staff with a para-church organization in San Diego. The car had served me well relocating me from Alabama to Colorado and then California. My car was old and had what seemed like a million miles on it but it was a great car. A few weeks after starting a new ministry at UCSD I left a dorm evangelistic Bible study I was leading around 10:30 PM.  Within a few minutes of leaving the campus my car died. I didn’t have a clue as to what I should do other than steer it to the side and walk in the dark to the nearest gas station with a pay phone. This was in the day before cell phones.  It was late. It was dark. I had only been in SD for a few weeks and other than my para-church campus director I had no one to call.  I put my quarter in the pay phone and dialed my campus director. He had recruited me to San Diego to minister at UCSD and lived about 2 minutes from my present location. My apartment on the other hand was inland and about a 25 minute drive.  I felt bad calling him so late but had no other choice. He answered the phone.  Hi, this is DuAnne. Sorry I am calling you so late. Was on the way from my EBS (it was great by the way) and my car died. I don’t know what to do. What should I do?  His reply:  “Call a tow truck.”  Long Pause. Me:  OK. Sorry I called so late. Click.  As I write this I wonder who was that girl? Who was I? I had just moved to a huge city where I had no family or friends. I had no church. (except for the para church group who believe they are a church.)  I was a missionary living on faith. I was supported by individuals and churches who wanted to see college students hear about Christ. I was broke and living on a very low income level. My diet consisted of at least two rice meals a day.  Most of my incoming funds went to housing and such. There was no emergency fund. In other words I was broke. I was from a non-Christian home and made a commitment when I left Alabama that I would not call my parents for financial help.  I believed God would provide all of my needs. Learning the difference between needs and wants is another story.  As a young woman in her 20’s I had so much to learn about life, especially faith, trust, relationships and what the church is according to Scripture.

When I got home to my apartment in Mission Valley I spent the majority of the night praying. Today this issue seems so small to me ( a dead car and no money) but back then it was a big deal. When morning came I remembered there was a girl from my church in Birmingham that had moved to San Diego. I called my Birmingham church and they gave me her number. I didn’t tell Sallie all the details just that I wanted her to refer me to a local church in the area. She gave me the name of a PCA church ~ New Hope Presbyterian Church. New Hope was a small church with less than 100 people attending each week. The pastor, Rev. Andy Noch answered the phone. I spared him the details of being flat broke, scared and having zero relationships other than the campus staff I worked with. I only told him I was new to San Diego and was in a little bit of a jam with my car.  I never told him I had no money. God had told me during prayer through the night that he would provide without me making my need known. Andy immediately offered to send a member of his church to take a look at my car. Long story short they fixed my car. When I asked for a bill for the parts and labor they refused to give me one. This was one of the first lessons of many I would learn about what it means to be a church without walls. 

Many churches today are in trouble. They are unengaged and uncommitted to people in their community. They have become more interested in the needs of those within their walls than those outside.  Their primary purpose is to serve their own members not reach those who don’t know Christ. 

The New Testament church was without walls. They understood that they were to bear witness to the world, to live among unbelievers, serving them, revealing Christ to them. Ministry depends upon every believer. We are to use whatever we have to serve God by serving one another and our neighbors. We are to be salt and light. They will know us by our love.

How about your church? Is your church without walls?

Today I want to want to share what made my Mother’s Day so special. It is nothing unique and has happened every year since my first born was 4.  If you have children it probably happens at your house too.  What makes my Mother’s Day a special memory is the home made card. I love it  and hope that as long as I am living my boys keep this tradition.  As a mother I make my share of mistakes. Sometimes feels like much more than my share. But the card forgets all that and will focus on the good stuff. In my memory box I keep these cards. I imagine someday when the boys have left the nest that I will go through them more often. Today I will store them in their place but not before reading them one last time. Here is part of yesterday…

The Top Ten Reasons That My Mom Is The Best

1.  She loves me sooo much.

2.  She takes care of me.

3. She makes me happy when I’m down.

4.  She cooks the best food.

5.  She loves basketball like I do.

6.  She tucks me in.

7. She is an all star at wiffle ball.

8.  She makes holidays so special.

9.  She sacrifices so much for us.

10.  She loves me no matter what I do.

A Poem For Mama

You are the master of everything you do.

You are a dependable source of comfort.

You help me when I fall.

You help me in times of trouble.

You support me when I call.

I love you more than you know.

You have my total respect.

If I had a choice of mother’s

You would be the one I would pick.

Thanks for all you do.

Mother’s Day 2010 come and gone. But with these cards I will always remember today. Thank you Matthew and Aaron. Out of all the little boys in the world, if they were all lined up, you are the two I would choose. You are two of the most precious gifts God has give me. I love you! Mama

Women are searching today as never before for fulfillment and purpose in life.  What can fill the deepest longings of a woman’s soul ?  Many answers are being given.  Where is a woman to find peace in a storm, joy in adversity or hope in pain and loss? 

At 22 years old I wrote out my vision for the next 25 years of  life. Though 90% of those goals and objectives came into being, it was not in those  dreams that my deepest needs were met.

What are a women’s deepest needs and how are they to be met?  Since God created the woman, he knows her deepest needs and He alone can meet them.

1.  A Woman Needs Love

If you have a husband he will never be able to provide you with the type of love your soul craves. When we look to a spouse to provide our deepest needs disappointment will fill the heart. Until this is clarified in a marriage both partners will feel an unrealistic pressure. For all you single ladies, not understanding this truth may put you on an endless quest to find something that does not exist. Though this blog today is for women, I feel compelled to say that the reason so many men such as Tiger Woods, Sanda Bullocks husband and even pastors have affairs is because they believe the lie that their current spouse is not meeting a deep need and they are desperately trying to fill it, even at the risk of losing someone they love.  In the case of a pastor, he may have an affair at the risk of losing everything. 

God alone can provide unconditional, self-sacrificial love, a love that has her highest good in view.  The Bible tells us: “This is the kind of love we are talking about–not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.”  When we turn to someone or something to fill that deep longing we will never be satisfied longterm.

2.  A Woman Needs Security

Often a woman’s security is based on financial stability, her husband,m or her own success in the world. All these things can change.  God never changes.  “He is the same yesterday, today, yes and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).  He alone can give true stability and security. 

I used to think my security was solid as a rock. As a single person my course was focused.  I was single minded and purpose driven.  Then I got married.  In 16+ years of marriage we have moved 8 times.  In March of 2009 when we returned to our home in Madison I was excited.  It felt so good to be in a familiar place and see people I had known for years. I like that I can go anywhere I desire in 5-10 minutes.  Though the ministry experiernce of NYC was a good one I didn’t miss the traffic or the high crime rate.  I like that I don’t have to lock my door to feel safe.  After returning home I began to say I will never, never, never leave Madison again.  It wasn’t long before God began to tell me that my security cannot be in a place and that he wants my willingness to go anywhere, do anything at anytime.  So now we are praying about another move which will be #9. 

3.  A Woman Needs Peace

In a world full of changes, pressures and problems, where can a woman find inner peace?  Only Jesus can provide inner peace regardless of outward circumstances.  Through Him we can have peace with God.  “I am leaving you with a gift–peace of mind and heart!  And the peace I give isn’t fragile like the peace the world gives.  So don’t be troubled or afraid”  (John 14:27).

Last week I had some medical testing done.  When I focused on God and his word I felt peace.  When I spent time on WebMD I felt anxious.  I admit I am a recovering MFO (medical freak out).  Worry and anxiety are the opposite of trusting God.  Sometimes I can’t believe the Lord is still teaching me this lesson. So basic yet at times difficult for me to apply.

4.  A Woman Needs Purpose

God didn’t make one mold for all women. He has a unique plan, full of meaning and purpose for each of us–a purpose in life suited for our own special gifts and abilities, in the sphere of of His will and according to His word.  “Listen to God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.”  (Proverbs 3:6).

When you know your purpose you can live your priorities with passion and become the person God desires you to be.  This is what I call living on purpose.

5.  A Woman Needs a Sense of Personal Worth and Dignity

The world attributes worth to beauty, intelligence, talent or position in life.  The Bible says “…man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (I Samuel 16:7).  Our worth in His eyes is based on the character of our life and the qualities that he develops as we commit our life to Him. 

All the needs a woman has cannot truly be met, in the deepest sense, unless her greatest need is met, and that is…

6.  A Right Relationship With God

The Bible says that because of Adam’s sin in the garden, a right relationship with God was broken.  Thus, we are all born sinners.  “But I was born a sinner, yes, from the moment my mother conceived me” (Psalm 51:5).  “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”  “The wages of sin is death” (Romans 3:23; 6:23)

Because God is holy, He cannot have a relationship with sinful men and women. “Who can stand before the Lord, this Holy God?”  (I Samuel 6:20).  For in His sight no one living is righteous (Romans 3:20).

Many think a right relationship with God comes by trying to please Him, by doing good things for others, by going to church, or just believing that He lived.  The Bible says that “whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all” (James 2:10).  The Bible also says that all our good works are as filthy rags to Him (Isaiah 64:6).  no one can be good enough to please God.  His standard is perfection.  The only one good enough to please God was Jesus Christ.  He came to earth and perfectly kept God’s law; then as a perfect substitute, He died on the cross to pay the price sinners owed God for their sin (I Peter 3:10).

Maybe you’ve heard these things all yor life and perhaps you believe them to be true.  But hearing these things and believing they are true does not give you a right relationship with God. 

First, you must recognize your sin and confess to Him that you are a sinner, separated from Him and destined for hell (Luke 18:13).

Second, you must repent from your sins (Acts 17:30), that is “hate and forsake them because they are displeasing to God.”

Third, you must realize Christ alone was able by His death to satisfy God’s justice and pay for our sins.  Through Him only can you be forgiven and saved from your sin (I Timothy 2:5-6)

Fourth, you must receive Christ as He is, the Lord of your life.  Believe in Him from the heart to save you from your sins and commit yourself to Him as Lord to follow all the days of your life (Romans 10:13).

It is not until I committed my life to Christ that the deepest needs of my heart were met.  In Him alone and in His purpose for my life is true peace and joy.

If you will repent of your sin and give your life to Him, you will know the true forgiveness, peace with God, true joy and eternal life (John 3:16; John 10:10).

How Can You Know For Certain That You Are A Christian?

Slowly but surely there will be changes in your life, because the Bible says that when one is in Christ “he is a new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17).  You will begin to love God and His word.  You will begin to love God  and His word.  You will love His people and His church.  You will have a heart and desire for communion with Him in prayer.  You will begin to hate sin and desire to please Him ( I John 2:3-4).

You can know that your greatest need is met is you have truly trusted Christ from the heart.  As you grow in your relationship with Him, he will meet all of the other needs of your life (Matthew 6:33).  “He will never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).  In Him you will find the living water and you will never tirst again (John 4:14).  Heaven will be your eternal home (John 14:2-3).

If you made the decision to trust Christ today as your Lord and Savior I encourage you to tell someone else what you have done. 

Lord, I pray for any woman who may have prayed to you today and ask that as you draw them to yourself they would be filled with your peace and love. 

Here are the top ten blog posts of 2009.  They were determined by number of hits and ties were broken by your personal votes. Thanks to my readers this site has had over 20,000 hits.

TOP 10 POSTS OF 2009

10.  Are You On Fire For God

 9.   #1 Question To Ask If Your Church Is Declining

8.  The #1 Job Of A Spiritual Leader

7.  The Temptation To Be Spectacular

6.  I Quench The Holy Spirit

5.  Why I Resigned

4.  Developing A Youth Ministry That Will Impact Culture

3.  The Danger Of Leadership Privileges

2.  Please Shut Up And Resign

1.  Top 10 Lessons We Should Learn From A Fallen Pastor

There were several that missed being in the Top Ten by less than 10 points….

• Ten Things The Church Does That Scares The Crap Out Of Me
• Ministry Ain’t For Sissies
• Grand Central
• Conversations With My 13 Year Old Son
• Why Do People Resist Change
• God Wants Your Church To Grow
• God Has Not Forgotten You
• The Danger Of Spiritual Weeds

May you have a blessed Christmas and a wonderful New Year! 

 

On January 2nd I will post the top ten posts of 2009. This is determined by the number of hits and also your vote.  If you want to vote on your favorite posts leave a comment here or email me at dseeley@winfluence.org.

For several days I have been thinking about this post. I realize that some will not like it. Some may think I lack understanding or compassion. That’s okay. The purpose of my writing has never been to gain public approval but to share my experience, heart and truth as I see it.

 

Every year at this time I listen to so many share about the stress they are under. Instead of “tis the season to be jolly” I hear folks grumble and complain about many things. When I ask for clarification of the stress this is what I hear most often…

 

·         “I have so much shopping to do”  Have you considered shopping online? Most stores offer good sales and free shipping. You can do all of  your shopping in one evening.  Have you considered giving less gifts?  What about giving to a needy charity in the recipient’s name? What about planning ahead?  Consider shopping months in advance and then putting it in a closet. I had 90% of my shopping done by November 27^th. 

 

·         “I have so many parties to attend.”  I love parties. But if parties are stressing you out don’t go. Is anyone holding a gun to your head threatening to shoot if your absent? Will the party cancel if you’re not there?  Could you go for just one  hour? 

 

·         “More school activities.”  Okay. You can’t cancel these but I will suggest that you enjoy them. Christmas with your children is a short amount of time in your life. While you complain about it now one day it will probably be looked on as one of the greatest highlights in your life. Just sayin.

 

·         “More church activities.”  You don’t have to sign up for everything or attend everything. Remember that these are also great opportunities for building memories with your family.

 

·         “The cooking.”  I enjoy all the holiday cooking but realize that some of you don’t.  I saw “The Blind Side” recently and loved the part where the father told the kids to thank their mom for purchasing the Thanksgiving dinner!  Laughed at loud at that one.  Buy it or make it simple. I know one family that has taco salad every Christmas Eve. Todd’s grandmother used to make at least 20 different types of Christmas cookies every single year until the day she died at 88. Her secret? Baking and freezing. 

 

·         “The Christmas cards.”  P-L-E-A-S-E.  Who says you have to mail out cards?  Consider doing it online. Do it every other year or don’t do it at all. Consider a January Happy New Year card.

• “I’m broke and don’t have any money to spend.”  Everyone knows we are in a recession.  Do you have to give gifts?  If you have young children that is a different story but we have been in that situation as people in full time ministry living on a tight budget.  I remember one year that Todd took a part time job at Costco to earn money for gifts for the boys. It was tough. It was humbling for a college graduate to push carts in the cold and rain with teenagers but he was grateful for the job and saw it is God’s provision.  It amazes me to hear unemployed folks say they would never do a particular job because they think it is beneaththem. I once heard a girl say she would NEVER  hostess or waitress. People like that have much to learn about life. I have the highest respect for a friend, Darica Smith, who rented a home with me in San Diego. She is very intelligent, graduate of UCSD and working on her masters degree at the time she got engaged. She worked full time at the VA and made the decision to get a 2nd job at McDonalds to pay off some debt and save some money for her wedding expenses. I have never forgotten that and have told the story to my kids.  I know folks today that need income that would never even consider that.

 

I don’t want to close without sharing some holiday stress that does grieve and touch my heart deeply…

 

·         A family that lost their home with no place to go due to unemployment.

 

·         A missionary family that is struggling due to lack of financial support.

 

·         The McRaefamily in Phoenix who is in the hospital with their 5 year old, Kate, undergoing chemo due to brain cancer.

 

·         The family who is grieving the loss of a loved one this Christmas.  

 

·         The mother who is fighting cancer so that she can be around for her children.

 

·         The parent’s with the rebellious child who is wondering if they will be spending Christmas together.

 

·         The man who just found out his wife is having an adulterous affair. 

 

·         The children who were told their parents are getting a divorce.

 

·         The woman struggling with depression 

• The family with a son incarcerated.
• The person struggling with addiction.

 

Have you listened to folks talk about holiday stress this year?  What would you add to this list?  Do you feel stress today?  Would love your thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Laughed hysterically as someone recently shared with me about a hike she took with her husband. Not being the outdoor type she had no desire to spend her day this way.  But it was his birthday request so how could she say no? She expected a walk through the woods on a clear and even path. They could chat along the way, hold hands and enjoy the beautiful scenery.  Not exactly what happened.  It was very rough at times. Treacherous terrain. No clear and even path. It was exhausting. She even got bruised and cut up along the way. At times she had to hold on to branches to keep from falling downhill.  The only words out of her mouth were Oh God, please help me.

 

Do you ever feel like your life is like this? I do. You long for an easy path yet that is not what you are on. It’s difficult and tiring. You have been bruised and cut up. Sometimes you fall.  You feel exhausted. You long for an easier path that others appear to be on.  You wonder how long it will take to get to the other side.

 

Jesus is aware of the path. In fact he is right there with you.  He walks beside you. He understands. He will lead you. He will carry you through.

 

Are you tired?  Worn out? Burned out on religion?  Come to me.  Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me ~ watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.     – Matthew 11:28-30 The Msg