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When (not if) we are faced with leaving a ministry, as staff or volunteer, it is vital that we do so in a manner worthy of the God we serve.  Period.  What I have learned over the past 25 years is that we can leave well or not well.

Leaving a ministry is part of being in ministry.  Every exit is different, unique in it’s details, but there are similarities.  Here are 4 tips on leaving well in ministry:

1,  Don’t make promises you won’t/can’t/shouldn’t keep

For example, “I’ll come back and visit” or “you can call or email me whenever you want.”  People will cling to these statements emotionally and be hurt again in the future when they’re not fulfilled.  If you’re planning to visit again next year or vacation or something, that’s fine, but don’t tell them just so they will feel better.  Do your best to make it a clean break for the sake of the ministry and the next person who takes the position.

2.  Never bad talk anyone especially if you’re leaving with tension.

You don’t have to support various decision and people, but don’t tear the ministry apart even further just so you feel like you’ve had the final say and you got your revenge.  Leave with grace.

If you are not the senior pastor but an associate pastor and leaving due to a moral failure of the senior pastor or some other lack of integrity, apply Matthew 18.

3.  Pass the Baton

When leaving a pastoral position do everything you can to ensure a smooth transition. Every new leader will do things differently but I do like to leave a notebook including everything I can think of that I would have appreciated having when I was new.  This includes giving a list of names and phone numbers of people in your ministry as well as computer pass codes, mailing labels, etc.

When I left the college pastor position at UCSD we had an end of the year banquet/party and I praised the incoming staff and told the students how much they would love he and his wife.  I communicated excitement about him and this began to prepare the way for the new relationships.

Before starting as college pastor at Skyline Wesleyan Church Pastor Tim Elmore preached a sermon on women in ministry and spoke of our relationship which helped prepare the way for my arrival.

4.  Once  you leave, it’s hands off.

Don’t contact people to see if you’re missed or entertain those who contact you to continue with some follow up complaints. And when a new person takes over and people contact you about how different it is (because it will be) always encourage them to be positive and support the new leader.

You may not know where you are going next.  You may be clueless, without any leads.  No matter what you know, you have to trust that God will take care of you.  This trust might be with your finances, with your job, with your reputation or something else.  Regardless of what happened (good or bad, right or wrong), God is bigger than the situation.  God is bigger than your worries.  God is biger than your bills.  God is bigger than everything.  He will take care of you.  It may not always be comfortable, but God will provide.

Maintain  level of integrity that will bring glory to God.

i (heart) tim keller

Recently when sharing about his ministry a youth pastor said “you attract people like youself.”  Though I agree with his statement the fact is a ministry will never reach full potential if you stop there. This pastor had a youth ministry that had decreased to a small number and I was asking questions to evaluate the ministry in an area that had good opportunity for growth.  If I were consulted to mentor this youth pastor there are 7 principles I would focus on to help him grow a dynamic youth ministry. Today I want to talk about one that is important in any type of ministry.

CONNECTING

Connecting is critical to growing a dynamic ministry. If you settle for a ministry that only reflects your personality and gifts it will always lack growth and be hindered from reaching it’s potential. A basic leadership principle I learned from John Maxwell is to bring people around that are different from you and have gifts you lack. How can you do that in a youth ministry?  Here are few things I did to connect when pioneering 4 different student ministries from scratch…

My most challenging student ministry was the one I started at a juvenile delinquent home. No Christian group had ever been successful and I was told it was impossible. Most of the kids were in secure lock up for felony charges but the staff agreed to let me have one shot at a gathering with them. What did I have in common with these kids?  Absolutely nothing!  Before the event I found out their main source of activity and enjoyment was ping pong. I had never even played ping pong but I asked the most influential guy in the room if he would teach me.  We connected through ping pong. After that I began to spend about 20 hours a week at juvi until I recruited a replacement. Unfortunately I never did get too good at ping pong.

A campus ministry sent me to a liberal college to help start a ministry that was struggling with recruiting and evangelism.  Here are a few things I did to help me connect with students…I dressed like students dress, I attended student activities, I went to places students go, I asked one of the most influential guys on campus to teach me how to ride a skateboard, I asked students lots of quetions about themselves to help me find their passion and points of interest and then zeroed in on that, etc.  My desire was to become all things to all men in order to reach some.

The principle I have been taught is that connecting is required for ministry growth.  I did many things that were out of my comfort zone. By nature I was a person who was not into sports, outside activity, music or video games. I am the person at the beach who will not even go into the water but sit in a lawn chair and read a book.  Today you might be challenged to see this because I will do anything to connect with my family, friends and other people I come in contact with.

Read a facebook post this week from a youth pastor I worked with at Skyline Church in San Diego who has built an incredible youth ministry at Saddleback Church. Kurt Johnston posted: “New Rule:  Every youth pastor should be required to visit two dynamic youth ministries a year to learn what they are doing.”

What are you doing to grow your ministry?

For more info on this topic read previous post “How To Build a Ministry that will Impact Youth Culture” and see “Called to Youth Ministry” which you can click on at my blogroll.

By Pastor Perry Noble

If you want to build a great church then go after the people that no one else wants!  That’s what Jesus did…and because of that we are included in HIS Kingdom.  Quite often something will happen in our church that will remind me that, though we are far from perfect, we are going after the people that I believe Jesus would have gone after…

So…the other day in our children’s area this happened…

A first time visitor (probably around 9 or 10 years old) walked into our 4th-5th grade room in KidSpring at our Anderson campus and was BLOWN away!

He looked at the children’s worker who met him at the door, and, after looking around the room he said, “you guys have a wii?”

“Yep,” she said.

“And you guys have a PSIII?” he said!

“Yes sir, we sure do,” she replied.

“And we can play these for free?”  He asked.

“Yep,” she answered.

Then he turned to his friend and said out loud, “This Sh_t is awesome!”

Now I am quite sure that makes some of you very uncomfortable; after all, you don’t want the cussing kids coming into church and messing up your perfect child.

However…after hearing this story from one of our children’s staff I was INCREDIBLY pumped up because I thought, “THAT is why we do church!”  I know many churches would not want a kid like that…but we do because HE MATTERS TO JESUS…even though his behavior is not perfect!

Here is what I know about that kid…

• He was greeted by children’s workers that made it a point to learn his name.
• He was treated like he was special, not like an outcast.
• He was NOT taken to the bathroom where his mouth was washed out with soap; in fact, he wasn’t even rebuked.  (Why in the world does the church expect those who do not know Christ to act as if they do?  It is the most ridiculous/stupid idea!!!)
• He was placed into an environment where he was taught the Scriptures.
• He was placed into an environment where he was taught about Jesus.
• He was placed into an environment where people went the extra mile to make sure the presentation was on his level.
• He matters to God; therefore, he matters to us…and we are going to continually do all that we can to reach him.

Church is not a place for “perfect people.”  (And BEWARE of the church where you go and EVERYONE seems perfect!!!)  It’s a place where the broken, the lonely, the addicted, and the struggling can go.

I love the fact that this kid came to our church…didn’t pretend to be someone he was not…and was STILL accepted and heard about Jesus.

The church has GOT to STOP placing expectations on people as soon as they walk in the door…

We are NOT a country club…we are a church!!!

And for those who look down on those who are “not as good as you,” remember that you were once like them (see I Corinthians 6:9-11 and Ephesians 2:1-5)…and were it not for God’s AMAZING grace…you would STILL be lost.

• People who cuss should be welcome at church…
• So should those who smell like smoke…
• So should those who smell like alcohol…
• So should those who do whatever sin you do not do…

When we get into the business of placing stipulations as to who can and cannot come to a service based on a morality code (OR a dress code) we have COMPLETELY lost sight of why Jesus came and died on a cross.

Like I said, hearing the story of that kid made my day!!!  It’s why we do what we do…and it is my prayer that he eventually receives Christ, fixes his eyes on Jesus…and grows up to do AMAZING things in HIS name…all because there was a church that allowed him to come in as he was…and then begged God to not let him stay that way but rather to bring about the change HE desired in HIS time.

A changed life.  This is the greatest reward in ministry to youth. I was once in a youth group. The Lord also allowed me the privilege of working with youth. I’ve worked with non-Christian youth, church kids youth and even kids living in a juvenile delinquent home.  And now I am the  mother of youth.  My objective for ministry remains the same….change lives for eternity and impact the culture.

The challenges facing our youth continue to increase every year. There is not a quick fix or short term program that will provide the results that we need.  Is it possible to develop a youth ministry that will provide youth workers and parents with the biblical principles that will equip their kids for life beyond youth group?  Yes. A big shout out to our friend Kurt Johnston  (youth pastor at Saddleback Church under Rick Warren) who pointed Todd and I to some of the best resources out there.

Today I want to share a resource we began using last year…The Seven Checkpoints by Andy Stanley and Stuart Hall.  The material in this book and the devotional book for teens reveals what Andy calls the “irreducible minimum” - the essential principles upon which an entire youth ministry can be built.  With this strategy…

Imagine meeting with the parents of your students and showing them the seven principles that serve as  the foundation for all you will teach their kids.

Imagine having a content calendar that can be used to guide the development of your activity calendar throughout the year.

Imagine having a handful of carefully crafted principles to choose from in developing the theme of every camp or retreat.

The Seven Principles every teen needs to know are…

1.  Authentic Faith

2.  Spiritual Disciplines

3.  Moral Boundaries

4.  Healthy Friendships

5.  Wise Choices

6.  Ultimate Authority

7.  Others First

The keys to developing an effective youth ministry are:

1.  Innovative leaders.

2.  Belief that students can experience the deeper things of God.

3.  Leaders that have a genuine and living faith, empowering others by showing the way and not just telling the way.

4.  A clear strategy so that the goal is accomplished rather than just gathering a crowd.

My passion is to live these 7 principles first and teach them second.  What about you?  What’s going on in the youth group at your church?  What challenges are you facing?

Today is a day the world will never forget.  Especially Americans. In addition to the ceremonies at Ground Zero, the Pentagon and PA,  most schools in the area will have an assembly or something special to remember the day the world changed.  I wish that every school in America would do the same. President  Obama will visit the Pentagon and pay respect to those who were slain by Islamic terrorists.  2,985 victims were slain and their names will be read.  At sun down two light beams will be on at the site of the twin towers 8 years ago.  It is a day of remembering and paying tribute.

Today it is good to remember that Islam is not a religion of peace but one with a written doctrine teaching any non-muslim should be killed. Islam is the opposite of Christianity.

So, how do we respond today? Like most Americans, I support that we must fight the war on terror. I want justice. But what the city needs most is not justice, but Jesus.

We need to take the Gospel to New York City.  When God called us to NYC our initial response was to say no.  But as we prayed we knew that it would be a privilege to say yes.  Todd, the boys and I are so grateful that we were obedient.  NYC changed our hearts forever. We are grateful for the friends we have made, the ministry experience and especially the people that have prayed to receive Christ. 

In his first interview on September 11, Mayor Giuliani was asked how bad it was. He responded, “More than any of us can bear.” He was right. But there is a greater tragedy. What if people were to minister only where they were comfortable or where it feels easiest for quick success?

Thousands died that day, but many more go into eternity every day without Christ. On Staten Island where we ministered, George Barna says that less than .05% are considered evangelical Christian.  The need in that area breaks our hearts. That is why we will spend the rest of our lives praying, recruiting pastors for, and financially supporting that area of the world.

When will we realize that it is “more then any of us can bear”? When will we be as shocked by the lostness of the world and act accordingly? When will our churches love the people of New York like we did on September 11? We sent so many work boots and water bottles that they said “no more.” My prayer is that we will send as many missionaries and pastors as we did boots and as many witnesses as we did water bottles. Only then can we truly love New York.

LEAD Ministries wants to help empower and support new church plants.  If you are a pastor who is open to plant in the NYC area please contact us.  Email Todd at tseeley@LEAD-Ministries.org.

Looking for your next adventure?  Searching for pastors who feel called to church plant.  We want to help empower you to live out your call and see your dream become a reality.  If you are interested in learning more about church planting opportunities email tseeley@LEAD-Ministries.org for more information.

Todd and I combined have over 30 years experience in consulting with declining churches. Both of us love what we do. It’s not always easy but no job is. One thing is certain, there is great blessing in living out your passion. We love the local church and consider it a privilege to pastor and serve it when and where we can. After all these years we continue to learn because each church is unique. Yet there are principles that remain the same.  

The first question we ask when an established church is declining is this:  what are you controlling?  Webster defines control as to force,manage, master or repress.  To repress is to hinder or restrain.  To restrain is to curb, keep down or from, bind or inhibit, bottle up, crack, hamper, gag, limit, choke or pull back.  Why would anyone want to control a church?  The root is fear but that is for another blog post. 

Last week on twitter Rick Warren had this to say…Every pastor has to decide what he wants most:  control or growth.  You can’t have both.  The bottleneck is always at the top.  For growth, the pastor must give up control of the ministry and the people must give up control of the leadership.  Acts. 6:1-7

As a pastor, are you willing to give up control for growth?  As a lay person, are you willing to give up control of the leadership for growth? 

 I respect and appreciate so many things about Bill Hybels. A few I want to mention are…his love for God, his passion, his love for those outside the church and his heart to help dying churches.   Another quality he has that is like a breath air is his lack of pretense. Bill is honest and transparent in the pulpit and out.  I love that.

Yesterday Bill Hylels launched the Leadership Summit at Willow Creek by teaching a session titled “Leading in a New Reality.” Here are some of the highlights of his talk …

After our relocation transition from church planting to LEAD, on our “to do” list was to find a church where we could worship and tithe. Our prayer was that God would direct us to where he wanted us.  We honestly did not care if the church had 30 people in attendance or 3000.  Our denomination which we are accountable to does not have a church in driving distance and we were open to any Christian church.  We were not looking for the “best show” in town but we did desire a church with a kingdom mindset.  When a church has a kingdom mindset people are valued. And when people are valued reaching new people (primarily the lost) is a top priority.  We visited several churches for 3 months but only one followed us up. Yes I said ONE. By follow up I mean they responded to our questions turned in on a visitor card or other form of contact via a phone call, email or letter.

The benefit of being part of a church with a kingdom mindset has greatly blessed our children.  In the past few weeks I have emailed the children and youth director and each time I received a response in less than 24 hours.  Staff and volunteers were professional and helpful. Julie Durling (children’s director) called me twice outside of her office hours, another worker named Susan emailed me and encouraged me to call her anytime I had a question and offered to meet with me. Last Sunday night our shy 13 year old went to a youth group for the first time.  He was nervous and had no desire to go. Peter Dahlin,  the youth director immediately connected with Matthew and introduced him to others.  Margaret a volunteer approached us and her passion for reaching youth oozed out of her every word.  His small group leader, Ray White, helped to make him feel welcome and at ease.  They gave every first time visitor a sports bag with the youth logo and inside was a water bottle and a leather compact Bible that Matthew was very excited about using. Seeing  the volunteer and financial investment it was obvious that reaching kids is a priority and passion. 

Church size should not determine follow up. Are you the only pastor and your other staff are volunteer?  Todd and I have seen many single staff churches that were excellent at follow up. When people are valued follow up will happen.  When follow up happens a church will grow. How is your church doing with follow up?