DuAnneSeeley.com

The leader will take feedback and questions from her people but will act on what she believes is right.

Top Ten Qualities I Look For In My Inner Circle

1.  Relationship with God - Her love relationship with God is more important than any other single factor in her life.  A woman can be the most gifted, intelligent and best communicator in the world, but if she does not possess a growing and dynamic walk with Jesus how can she lead others in this?  Everything in her Christian life should be an overflow of her walk with the Lord.  Is she passionate about this? 

2.  Character - Most leadership failures come from lack of character rather than lack of intelligence.  You can do much to mentor a person in ministry and leadership skills but you are completely vulnerable to the person with a weak character.  The weakness will show up at the time of highest stress, at the very time you need the person to step up to the plate.  Character is sectional, like a grapefruit.  Everyone has strong sections and weak.  One person may be strongly loyal to the CEO, but irresponsible and lack discipline in the day to day.  Another person person may be loyal and responsible until she gets a chance to enhance her ego.  She may begin to envy the recognition of another and question why she is not getting the same.  Ego will weaken character as much as anything I know.  As a leader you must evaluate all the sections, build on the good ones and avoid the weak ones. 

3.  Flexible - Third I want a person who is flexible and does not confuse flexibility with lack of integrity.  Some people accuse others of lacking integrity, when the issue has nothing to do with that.  The only thing at stake is flexibility.  One of the things that indicates a healthy flexibility is optimism.  Positive people look at change as expected and part of growing a church or organization. 

4.  Excited About Learning - I like to have people around me who are hungry to grow.  Nothing helps a church or organization more than a leader who wants to grow.

5.  Team Players - A true team player does not poach on other people’s responsibility but is available to help at their request.  When she sits in a meeting she is open in her remarks and does not go around making comments privately. 

6.  Confronts in a Healthy Manner -  The purpose of confronting conflict is to redeem not to destroy.  Deal with any anger prior to the confrontation so that your motive is pure and the relationship is not  destroyed. 

7.  Comfortable Being Reviewed - In business this is done on a regular basis.  But in the Christian setting many people seem to resist review.  They feel that they have been called and gifted by God and therefore the Pastor, President, CEO or Department Head is not really their supervisor—God is.  They have the attitude that “we are all equal on this team.”  If their concept of what God wants them to do (which is usually what they enjoy doing) conflicts with what the organization expects of them, it’s too bad.  Such an attitude brings havoc into the work of the kingdom. 

8.  Slow to Anger - If a person has a problem with anger it will be a show up in every area of life.  They can hide it for a while but eventually it will surface.  “Keep away from angry, short-tempered men, lest you learn to be like them and endanger your soul.”  Proverbs 22:24

9.  Positive Attitude - Negative people will suck the life out of you.  Run from them. Enough said.

10.  Sense of Humor - Life is short so my inner circle must have a great sense of humor.   My sense of humor developed while serving on staff at Skyline Church in San Diego.  We laughed so much (all the time) that it’s a wonder we ever got any work done.  Laughter is great medicine.

How can we find and recruit such people?  My three steps are pray, invest, and select which I will talk about on another post. 

Studies reveal that 60-80%  of the success of any organization is attributed to two things: 

• Vision - having clear direction
• Recruiting - having the right team of players

This is why few things are as important as putting the right people in the right positions.  How do we do that?  Half the job of successful recruiting is having clear direction of what you want done.  Once you have that you can then put together a group of people who are gifted to carry out the mission. 

Recruiting is one of the most important parts of successful leadership.  Great athletic coaches know they must have talent to win, and therefore they take an active role in choosing the players.  Teams that just happen will get happenstance results.  It is critical for a church or Christian organization to pray for wisdom in choosing the best staff.

Often as an organization, church or ministry grows or if it plateaus  it will need to reorganize.  The organization will sometimes out grow a person.  In 1981 the founding pastor of Skyline, Dr. Orval Butcher was retiring after 27 years.  The church was about 1000 but had been at a plateau for years.  When Dr. John Maxwell arrived he met with each staff to access individual abilities.  He immediately discovered why the church had flat lined.  The staff were good people, but they weren’t strong leaders.  No matter what he did with them, he knew they would never be able to take the church to the next level.  John knew Skyline’s potential would be determined by those closest to him.  His task was to bring in better leaders.  That was the only way he would be able to turn the situation around.  When Skyline had the right staff their potential skyrocketed. 

Who you recruit is extremely important.  Small organizations or churches often make the mistake of thinking they can get by with inferior staff because they are small.  The opposite is true.  In a group of 100 staff, if one is inferior, the loss is only 1 percent.  But if an organization has a staff of 3, the loss is 33 percent.  The bright side is that it is easier to pick one excellent leader than a 100!

No matter what your size set a high standard of excellence.  How can we find and recruit such people?  One lesson I have learned is that we are not hiring friends.  We are gathering capable people around us who are able to do what we cannot do, perhaps able to do things better than we ever could.  We may become friends in the process but I do not have to be chummy with the person, and she does not have to be my girlfriend.  But we must respect each other.  A lot of leaders make the mistake of hiring people they like rather than people they respect.  They end up choosing individuals like themselves, duplicating their own strengths and weaknesses, which will not advance the mission. 

The higher the position being filled, the more time we should spend filling it.  A few months ago I began to sense that God is about to do something new with WIN.  Something bigger than me.  I felt God leading me to begin writing  a list of the very sharpest and most dynamic Christian women I know of in America.  For a month all I did with the list was pray for these women and their ministries.  Next I began to ask people I respect who they thought of when they thought of high quality Christian women in leadership.  In addition  to prayer and godly counsel of others I began to research each name on the list.  After these steps I narrowed down my list and knew who I wanted to pursue. 

Perhaps the more difficult part of recruiting is recognizing the quality people and the next post will be about the top 10 qualities I have learned to look for.

Fatigue can make even the best of leaders introspective and far from her best.  In a state of deep fatigue you will have an unrealistic perspective of situations requiring your leadership and you won’t be as competent as you could and should be.  This was certainly my experience last month.  In addition to my father passing away, which is a huge emotional drain, we made the decision to drive the 16 hours one way with two kids and a dog.  What was I thinking? :-)  Proof that good decisions are difficult to make under heavy emotional stress!  After returning for two days we went to our pastor and spouse retreat which was great but during the weekend my 12 year old got sick.  What I assumed to be a 24 hour bug turned into 3 weeks of flu that our family experienced.  I was sick for two weeks and don’t recall ever feeling such intense fatigue with an illness.  Though I had a ”to do” list with deadlines a mile long, I had no choice but to let everything go. My kids bounced back much sooner than their parents so they did require feeding and oversight but for 3+ weeks I accomplished very little other than sleeping and resting a lot.  This post is not to talk about how healthy the time was as God slowed me down so that I could begin to embrace grief and loss.  The purpose is not to talk about the importance of taking extra time to reflect and surrendering to your limits.  What I desire to do today is share a few healthy ways to move from a state of fatigue to a state of rest. 

1.  Be with God.  I have strong convictions that we need to take time to be with God daily.  Some call it a quiet time or devotional time. The purpose is not to read books or do Bible study but to sit at his feet, read a little scripture, pray, listen and reflect.  This requires time and though I avoid suggesting how much time it is difficult for me to imagine not spending from a half hour to an hour.  Can you imagine what your relationship woud be like with your spouse or children with just 5-10 minutes of alone time a day?  Sometimes in our busyness our time with the Lord is the first thing we let slide.  A result of neglecting this is fatigue, depression and burn out. Our activity for God can only properly flow from a life of being with God.  You cannot give what you don’t possess. 

2.  Get extra sleep and rest.  Sometimes the best prescription for fatigue is just to sleep every spare minute until we are fully rested—no television, no hobbies, no social life, nothing. 

3.  Revise your “to do” list.  By making a revised list of all your responsibilities, large and small, you can schedule them for another time and get them out of your mind for the time being.  When we are in a state of fatigue we can feel overwhelmed by even little things on our list.  Acknowledge that when you are at your best you can knock them out quickly but for now you are going to postpone. 

4.  Delegate. What responsibilities can you delegate to others?  What items on your list could someone else do at least 80% as well as you?  Even when you do not have fatigue doing these things yourself is probably a waste of your time. 

5.  Physical Check-up.  When is the last time you had a physical check up?  Keeping this a priority is a must for every person who wants to function at her best. 

6.  Vacation. When is the last time you had extended vacation time?  Get out the calendar and schedule it as soon as possible.  Often deep fatigue is due to our failure to take regular vacation time.  Can’t leave for a week?  A 2-4 day get away can do wonders for you.  If you have been in full time ministry for 20+ years consider scheduling  a sabbatical.  These have to be planned for in advance but are sometimes needed for God to renew and refresh us. 

The sooner you deal with fatigue the greater your chance of not totally burning out.  Whenever you feel fatigued or burned out, let this list help you regain vitality.

Credit to Bob Biehl             

We need to ask good questions to make  good decisions but not every question in this list will help you in every situation.  This is simply a checklist to help you from overlooking important considerations.      

1.  How will this decision impact all the people involved?  

2.  What will be the long term impact of this decision?

3.  Have I written down the basic issues involved in this decision?

4.  At it’s essence–in one sentence–what is the decision I’m really facing?  What is the bottom line?

5.  Am I dealng with a cause or a symptom?  A means or an end?

6.  Am I thinking about this situation with a clear head or am I fatigued, angry, emotional or stressed out to the point that I shouldn’t be making a major decision?  

7.  Should I seek outside counsel from godly counsel?  Avoid seeking out friends or family that can’t be objective as someone on the outside? 

8.  What decision would I expect from the 3 most respected Christian leaders that I know?  

9.  Is this decision consistent with my core values?

10.  Will this decision help to maximize my strengths?  

11.  Is this the decision I would make if our budget was twice as large as it is?  Half as large?  Five times as large?  Is it the decision I would make if we had twice as many staff members?

12.  What would happen if I did not make this decision at this time?  Is this the best timing to make it?  If not now, why?

13.  Is this decision really appropriate in scope and size to the situation we face?  Am I possibly hunting an elephant with a BB gun or a rabbit with a cannon?

14.  Should we write a policy about this decision to guide us in similar situations in the future?

15.  Have I given myself 3 days after making this decision to settle in my mind?  After three days do I have any doubt or do I have a peace that surpasses all understanding?

As you face major decisions in your life there can be other lingering questions.  Sometimes you may lack the discipline to go through the process but it will be well worth the effort.  Sometimes we can miss a gift from God (James 1:17) because we rush this process and therefore don’t make good decisions.   I encourage you to look at these questions and others as you transform your leadership. 

As leaders we must constantly work at making decisions simple.  The first step in making a decision is of course to pray.  God will often change our perspective in prayer.  Without it we are tempted to make decisions based on our emotions instead of being directed by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.  The right decision will never be contradicted in scripture.  A young woman once asked me God’s will for her in dating a non-Christian man. My advice was for her to spend a week in prayer and look at  what the Word had to say about it.  One week later we met and she had discovered the right decision on her own.   Many years ago I was scheduled as one of many speakers at a  conference.  Three weeks prior to the conference someone close to me passed way unexpectedly.  I called the church and asked to be taken off the program.  The pastor in charge felt strongly that I had made a commitment to attend and that I needed to be there.  It was not easy but I kept my commitment.  In the process I learned some valuable lessons.  A leader keeps commitments.  God’s strength is made greatest in our weakness.  We can live above our emotions.  These lessons have served me well over the years.

Sometimes what we call decison making  is really just escape.  Dr. Joyce Brothers said:  “SPEED IN MAKING UP ONE’S MIND is not an important element in successful choices. In fact, the snap decision is often not a decision at all, but a technique of avoidance.  Though it created an illusion of command, a lightning choice may mean only that someone has snatched at the handiest alternative rather than come to grips with the real issues involved.” 

Here is a  great question by Bob Biehl to ask when making decisions:

What are the 5-10 most relevant, proven facts in this situation?  And what are the fundamental assumptions I’m making about this situation?  Right up front, distinguish facts from what are simply your assumptions.  Assumptions are what we believe to be true, but have not proven.  They can be very faulty foundations on which to build your decision.  In my work with people, I’ve found that the most frequent violation of sound  principles is  to decide before all the facts are known.  Somehow in our minds we have a need to decide NOW.  We have a need to bring closure, a need to have things settled.  Because an undecided decision often brings stress, our minds compel us to make a decision too quickly before the facts are in.  We decide on the basis of 3 facts and 17 hunches, rather than 17 facts and 3 hunches.  Peter Drucker said “Once the facts are clear, the decisions jump out at you.”  So find the facts.  And then as you pray, wait on God to speak to you to avoid making an emotional decision. 

(More tomorrow on Decison Making)

It used to surprise me to learn that so many women involved in ministry lacked confidence to succeed in doing what they felt God had put on their heart or called them to do. They continually questioned if they were kidding themselves about being the right person for the joband if God can really do what He says.  Their insecurities aren’t unusual.  It may seem to you that true leaders never doubt God or themselves but I believe ninety percent of us face these doubts at one time or another.  And yet, to lead others confidently, you must have a healthy self image and faith that God can and will equip you to do what He has called you to do.  This is what I like to call God confidence.  You must trust your motives and your recommendations against God’s Word.  But unless you believe in what you are saying others will not feel confident to follow you.  The following questions and principles can help guide you through moments of self-doubt.

• What does the Word of God have to say?
• How is God working in this situation?
• In the situation where I feel doubt and a lack of confidence…am I being self-centered?
• What realistically is the worst thing that could happen in this situation?
• Who can I call for advice or counsel in this situation?
• Who are the friends who will love me regardless of whether I win or lose in this situation…and in life?  (for healthy perspective)
• In what area do I have a feeling of expertise?
• Am I being moldable in the hand of God?
• What are my primary strengths, gifts and experience? 
• What is my greatest strength?
• What strengths and gifts give me the greatest return?
• In what area of my life do I have the greatest interest in growing personally?
• Who can I learn from?
• What is my personal growth plan?

Knowing and asking the right questions will increase my leadership confidence. 

About 25 years ago I decided to make a hobby of asking questions.  I began collecting questions, just as my sons collect coins, rocks, and football cards.  I asked What? Why? When? Who? How?  How much?  As a result I began to grow personally and I also learned a lot about people, leadership and ministry.  I also learned that so many women have not had the opportunity to develop their leadership skills.  With this discovery God put a dream and vision on my heart to start a ministry that would be committed to developing women whose potential is great but opportunities for learning leadership have been limited.  For 20 years the timing to start this ministry was not right and I waited as He prepared me. Now this dream has become a reality and our mission is to equip women to become multiplying leaders who impact the world for Christ.  Our process is to provide strategic leadership development through life-to-life coaching, conferences, resources, partnerships and technology. 

I have not arrived anywhere and continue to grow as a leader.  Daily I feel grateful for the many mentors that God has put in my life.  Some were only in my life for a season and some for a lifetime.  My passion is to be a multiplying leader who gives back to others as so many have given to me.   This blog will be to share principles and thoughts on personal growth and leadership development.