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From time to time God brings someone in your life for a short period of time that will help you in specific ways.  The central input of a counselor mentor is timely advice and impartial perspective on a view of circumstances, ministry or relationships.  This mentor does not take the place of the discipler but will make special developmental contributions at appropriate times.

Moses was empowered as he took his father-in-law’s advice and applied it immediately.  Thank God for wise and godly counsel.  Not only was Moses relieved and more effective in his responsibilities, but the people and his family were blessed as well. 

We are all responsible to God for our own decisions and to discern his will, but we are foolish to not take advantage of the experiences and wisdom of others in the process. 

What about you?  Do you have any people in your life like this?  You may not be in a crisis or overwhelmed, but you are always making decisions and planning. Proverbs 15:22 tells us, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” 

Living with purpose, passion and priorities is a tag line for WIN.  On a personal level, living with purpose is so much more.  Nothing adds more fullness and meaning to life than discovering your purpose and living it out seven days a week.  After my relationship with God, my husband and children are my highest priority.  Often that means not having my desired standard of a clean house.  Last night I told someone that it is more important for me to spend time with my children than have my house clean.  That doesn’t mean I don’t clean–sometimes I just have to let it go.  It does mean that I will not get through a “To Do” list and also that I often  will not respond to email, phone calls and other things as promptly as I did as a single person with no children.  Living with purpose has enabled me to:

1.  Invest my time in what is most important, to what I believe God has called me to do.

2.  Exchange burnout for balance.

3.  Make confident decisions.

4.  Nurture a growing sense of peace.

5.  Live a life of no-regrets.

How about you?  Are you living on purpose?

A discipler will mentor you in the basics of being a passionate follower of Christ.  I have never seen this type of mentoring passed down from the pulpit.  This has to do with your inner being which shapes your values, attitudes, motives, thinking process and eventually your behavior.  Developing of your inner being requires that you establish some basic spiritual disciplines or habits in your devotional life.  Establishing right habits is vital to a follower of Christ.  Steven Covey in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, says, “Habits are powerful habits in our lives.”  Our character is a composite of our habits.  Whoever said “Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit;  sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny” is correct.

Congratulations to Jan Owen, Worship Pastor at The Brook.  She was one of a  dozen women who shared her opinion on the April 29th post.  Jan is the winner of a free registration to any Women of Influence event in 2009. 

Why is discipleship so appealing today? Let’s talk about four possibilities.

1.  Many people were not established in the basics of the Christian faith and realize later that something is missing.  Discipleship is not head knowledge and does not happen from the pulpit or in a class room setting.  These people often long for clarity and practical help in developing an authentic, stable and consistent growth pattern for their spiritual life resulting in a dynamic walk with Christ.

2.  Many people who become followers of Christ are products of dysfunctional family situations. They are willing to go through a relational discipleship process if it will help bring wholeness.

3.  People come to realize that a well designed discipleship experience instills a basic Christ-centered life that will provide a foundation for a lifetime of following Christ.  The disciplines learned and practiced will strengthen and develop the believer so she is quick to sense the Spirit’s leading and draw upon God’s grace and resources.  It is similar to a well trained athlete, who has far greater capacity to fully use all her talents in a challenging situation than a lesser-conditioned one with equal ability.  We are often exhorted in Scripture in this area (2 Timothy 2, I Corinthians 9, Hebrews 5 and 12). 

4.  People catch a vision for the Biblical basis of discipleship. They realize that God’s primary plan for the church is for discipleship.  They see in Matthew 28 that the Great Commission is not an option to be considered but a command to be obeyed.  (quote?)  As people develop a Biblical philosophy of ministry they understand that the goal of evangelism is not converts but the goal of evangelism is discipleship. 

So whatever your age or however long you have been a Christian, this type of mentoring may well apply to you or others in your church or ministry.  Comments?

The discipler is the mentoring type which the majority of us are probably the most familiar.   The definition of discipleship I like best is a simple one:  leading someone to Christ and teaching them to obey God’s Word.  (Matthew 28:18-20)  What comes to mind is an individual who helps a believer grow in the basics of a disciple’s life…showing her how to pray, have a quiet time, study the Bible, share the faith, being filled with the Holy Spirit, holiness,  etc.  One amazing fact is how many believers miss this part of their walk and therefore spend years with stunted growth floundering in their faith.  When a Christian is not grounded it is too easy to fall away from the faith.  I wonder if this is one reason for dysfunctional homes and that 50%  of all Christian marriages end in divorce? 

There are many books that have been written on the biblical basis of discipleship.  The classic that I like best is “Master Plan of Evangelism” by Robert Coleman.  I love this book.  My husband still laughs about the fact that when I was single and guys would ask me out on a date, I would respond by asking they had read this book.  Todd had actually read the book twice so we had a lot to talk about.  Another great book on discipleship is “The Complete Book of Discipleship” by Bill Hull. 

I’m excited that people in their mid-thirties and forties who have been church members for years are asking for discipling—even full time Christian workers who never received that personal one-on-one help in their earlier years.  When meeting with church staff and church leaders I used to expect that they wanted mentoring in  leadership development first.  Often they request help with basic discipleship.  They understand that this foundation is a prerequisite for being the leader God wants them to be. 

What about you?  Have you been discipled?  If so, who are you investing in so that you can multiply your leadership?

I love Mother’s Day.  Not because I get a gift but because of the joy and celebration children bring to life.  Scripture speaks often of children being a blessing from the Lord.  And for women without physical children I believe this principle applies to spiritual children in the Lord. 

Homemade cards are the best.  Sorry Hallmark!  You just can’t provide the heart that are in the handwritten cards of my little boys.  And the crayon drawing is priceless. This year Aaron wrote:

“My mom is very kind.  She is always happy.  She is a wonderful pastor’s wife. Thank you mom. I love you.”

Matthew said….

“You are the best and most beautiful mom in the world.  I love you.”

I hope as I continue to grow as a mom that my children will remember wonderful things about their mother, not for my benefit but so that they will have the most secure foundation possible to serve Christ.

I have never been able to throw away a card from my children. From time to time I receive handwritten letters/cards from women I have brought to Christ or mentored.   I save all of these and put them in a file marked “Bouquets.”  Does anyone have any great ideas of how to keep all of this special stuff organized?

With email we are getting further and further away from handwritten notes.  Who do  you need to send a thank you note to?  Your mom?  A friend?  Your pastor?  A mentor?  An author?  I bet you could do it in 5 minutes.

How does one find a teacher-mentor?  It’s not that difficult.  The first step is to identify the area you want help in and the second step is to look for someone who has had success in that area.  The more you can specifically identify what you want the easier it will be for a mentor to link you to resources that can meet that need.  Normally we think of a teacher as one who presents knowledge but a teacher-mentor has a much broader influence. Here is how a teacher-mentor will help you…

1.  Personal success in the area you need help with.

2.  Ability to organize  and communicate information in a practical  and relevant way.

3.  Links mentorees to resources.

4.  Helps empower mentoree to have success in an area.

5.  Motivates mentorees to continue learning.

I am very motivated to grow and have taken advantage of this type of mentoring all my life.  Last Saturday I called a good friend in Alabama, Sharon Maguire to say hi and catch up on family news.  While on the phone with her I gleaned some valuable parenting insight on parenting and helping your kids to succeed in school.  Sharon and her husband Ken are great people, parents, have kids older than mine and she has also spent many years as a teacher.   Sharon has children with asthma and was helpful a few years ago in pointing me to good resources to get my son properly diagnosed with a treatment plan.  Because she had the personal experience and success she was more helpful than his pediatrician who was unable to give a correct diagnosis.  Sharon was able to refer me to a specialist who immediately identified an illness that could be life threatening if left untreated.  

What about you?  Can you identify a need in your life that you desire help in?  A new ministry position?  Leading an evangelistic Bible study in your neighborhood?  Developing a speaking ministry?  Growing as a woman in ministry?  Developing discipline in having a daily quiet time? Prayer? Starting a new business?  Financial planning?  Church Planting?  Starting a Bible study at your office?  Marriage?  Is God challenging you to help others?

No matter what the subject, someone will always know more than you do and may be eager to pass it on.  I’ve been mentored by teachers in areas like leadership, small groups, assimilation in the church, event planning, setting long range goals and objectives, marriage and child development, etc.  Learning with a teacher- mentor is more focused and personal, and therefore can be faster and deeper.  Try it….you’ll love it. 

A mentoring relationship with a teacher-mentor can be informal or formal.  The time can be short. The subject matter can be large or small.  I remember when I accepted my first full time ministry staff position at Briarwood, a church of about 3000 at the time.  I was hired to develop an assimilation process.  It was in the 80’s and this was a unique position and at the time few churches around the country were into this.  By nature I’m a pioneer and therefore love to start new things.  I was young and knew little about assimilation.  For some reason the church saw potential in me and gave me this wonderful opportunity.  The first few weeks I called several of the largest churches in America to learn what they were doing with assimilation.  What I gained was specific need-centered mentoring.  Notice in this case that I, the mentoree, took the initiative.  I knew I had a need and was able to specify that need.  I did not wait around for someone to come along and help me.  I approached others who I thought could be learned from.  The words “up to speed” connote the important function of teacher-mentors.  They can organize information and present it in such a way that the mentoree covers ground rapidly—much more than would be the case if it just happened over long periods of time.  This kind of mentoring ought to be going on all the time with middle and upper level leaders.  The pattern:  a challenging assignment, recognizing a need for knowledge or understanding, identifying a teacher-mentor who can meet that need, and receiving empowerment through the mentoring process. 

Teachers are special kinds of mentors.  They have knowledge in a specific area, the ability to organize that knowledge, and the desire to empower another.  It is not just information that is put in a notebook but material that is relevant, practical and will be used immediately.  

Teacher-mentors are always available.  You simply have to look for them.  On the next post we will talk about how to find them and their function.  What teacher-mentor has helped you most to get moving in the right direction?

Are you disappointed that you have not found a capable or available mentor?  Today you can start being mentored.  The Hero Mentor is one of the 7 types that is sometimes an untapped resource. This type of mentor do what the other models do but they do it through the pages of a book rather than live.  This person may be dead or alive but their biographies and autobiographies can mentor us.  The Hero Mentor can teach, challenge, motivate and give you hope by their example. 

I have had a number of these, have you?  Jim Elliott was a historical model who mentored me.  His life has had a life long impact on mine.  Years after reading his works I was able to meet his daughter at a conference I was speaking at.  Here are a few of the many and how they impacted my life:

• Jim Elliott - Zeal for relationship with God, purity of heart, and desire to give everything to God.
• Hudson Taylor- Vision.  Trusting God in and for the ministry.  My second born was named after this godly man.
• Amy Carmichael- Intimate walk with God.
• Henrietta Mears - A woman God used to shape some of the most influential Christians of our time.
• Dawson Trotman- Heart for the Great Commission. Vision for spiritual multiplication.
• Elizabeth NewBold - She was saved at a later age and God still used her to impact the world for Christ in a huge way.

Women often tell me, “I have never had anyone to mentor me.”  When they say that I know they have not made the discovery of the power and availability of contemporary and historical models. 

Let’s close with the best historical models of all. Jesus of course is the #1 Hero Mentor.  Others would be the apostles, saints and martyrs, the great prophets-Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Hosea, Micah, Malachi and others.  These mentors have blessed my life as they have kindled in me some of the righteousness and conviction of pride, worldliness and fear for those who forget God, their courage for confronting sin.

Don’t forget that we are not looking for perfect Hero Mentors but how they responded to failure in their lives and how they progressed in the process.   Who has mentored you in this way?