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A few days ago I took the boys to our local library. As they looked for some good books I stepped into the magazine/newspaper cove to do something I rarely take time to do…sit and relax with a few magazines.  All I lacked was a hot cup of coffee.  I glanced at the O magazine and found the section on her favorite things interesting. I’m no Oprah but I have been thinking for a while that it would be fun to write a casual post on some of my favorite things.  I’m not the kind of person that cares much about “stuff” but there are certainly things that I enjoy.  So in total random order, here are a few of my favorite things…

STARBUCKS COFFEE   - I’ve tried about every brand of coffee out there and yet to experience anything that comes close  to any Starbucks blend.  I like to use a few drops of Land O Lakes FF half and half with a tbsp. of cool whip.  Brewing my own saves me $4 a day and that comes to $1,460 a year.

CLOROX WIPES - Of course I know that Clorox with a cloth is more cost effective.  The generic brand usually tear up on me.  These things save me a ton of time not to mention the laundry. Without them I doubt I would have the time to blog.  With all I save on coffee I feel no guilt on this splurge.

SHOUT SPRAY STAIN REMOVER - Before marriage and kids I never needed a stain remover. Living with 3 males I use this every day.  I have tried everything out there and I guarantee you that the other brands don’t work like Shout.  My mother-in-law used Shout while  visiting from Illinois and is now hooked.

LIPTON TEA - Whether you like sweet tea or unsweet tea, Lipton is the best brand in the entire world.  I drink it daily.  The antioxidants are an added bonus.  Used to drink cola’s and gave them up when I learned how bad they are for you.  I confess to slipping up every month or two and drinking a COKE ZERO.

TUTTOROSSO CRUSHED TOMATOES - Before living in NYC I used the pasta sauce in a jar.  My Italian friends thought that was a shame and taught me how to make excellent sauce from scratch. My family loves it and it also is more cost effective.  But the secret to great sauce is using TUTTOROSSO CRUSHED TOMATOES.  I was not convinced until I literally tried everything out there.  It is really second to none for your authentic Italian dishes.

MARY KAY EYE MAKEUP REMOVER - One of my least favorite things is my nightly ritual of removing eye make up.  This product is the best on the market and makes the job quick and easy.  Once your over 30 you need to stop using soap because it causes more wrinkles. Since I would never have plastic surgery I want to take the best care of my skin that I can.  Baby oil or vasoline is bad for your eyes.  One bottle cost $14 and lasts a few months. 

PANERA BREAD - We don’t eat out often but this is one of my top food places when we do. The food is made fresh and they have something for what ever mood you happen to be in. The tortilla soup is my favorite with the half chicken fontega sandwich. They also have free Wi Fi if you want to go alone and do some work.  I appreciate that they donate unused food to non-profit organizations or churches each day.

There are a few others that I will save for another post. What are some of your favorite things?

Today one of my FB friends, Penny Maxwell, posted this comment…”You know how much you value a relationship based on the level of discomfort you are willing to endure to see it progress and develop.”   I love this! This is who Jesus is and what he did. She went on to share…Real relationships demand something from you.  When iron sharpens iron sparks will fly.  Have you felt sparks in any relationship lately?  With friends?  Family members?  Spouse?  Neighbors?  Co-Workers?  Do you really love those people God has put in your life?  Or do you see your relationships as dispensible as a used kleenix?  It disturbs me to see someone blow a person off.  When we do this we totally miss who Jesus is to be within us.  God tells us in I John 4 that we do not abide in Christ when we choose to respond this way.  If we are Christians and do this we will sometimes attempt to spiritualize our actions. Deep down we usually know what we are doing but we put on a fake front that there is nothing else we can do to be a peacemaker.  So we wash our hands of it so to speak and move on to the next relationship, until they do something to tick us off.

Over 20 years ago I attended a workshop in Colorado that I never forgot called Conflict is Positive.  It was great and certainly changed my perspective.  Do I still have conflict?  Absolutely.  Do I always respond the Biblical way God commands?  Unfortunately not.  Do all of my relationships end happily ever after? Sad but no.  Sometimes you can try to work through an issue and the other person insists on holding onto the anger and will blow you off.  I once had a friend blow me off because  I told her our preschool teacher informed me her son ate 7 pieces of pizza at the school party. She was very sensitive about her son and refused to speak to me ever again. She was in the church we served for years but to this day refuses to speak to me and others who unknowingly have offended her. She never told me how I offended her even when I asked her. I heard that she was offended from others she had shared with.   By the way, Proverbs 6:16-19 tells us God HATES it when we spread strife among people.

Can you imagine how our marriages would be if we refused to deal with conflict? I imagine we would all be divorced many times.  Can you imagine if your children refused to deal with confict?  Conflict is good. Unresolved conflict is not good.  Micah Vanderburg commented on FB page that “people need to understand that the willingness to go through discomfort is for the development of the relationship and not the demise.

Is there anyone in your life today that you need to call?  Meet with face to face?  Don’t be a wuss and send an email or letter in the mail.  Put on your BGP and do the right thing.  Will every relationship you do this with develop?  Many will but a few probably will not.  Spiritual immaturity, dysfunction and our baggage will sometimes hinder our doing the right thing. If a person holds a grudge and blows you off then your hands may be tied. But you can pray for healing and live out how Jesus taught us we should value people.

To check out a great blog by Penny Maxwell go to www.PennyMaxwell.wordpress.com or you can reach her on my blogroll.

Women of Influence is excited to announce our group of mentors this week for Exchange 20009.  Today we share about Nancy Beach…

Nancy Beach is executive vice-president of the Arts  for the Willow Creek Association and a teaching pastor of Willow Creek Community Church.  A champion for the arts and artists in the church, she is author of An Hour on Sunday:  Creating Moments of Transformation and Wonder and Gifted to Lead:  The Art of Leading As a Woman in the Church. 

Nancy Beach Bio

Nancy Beach is a speaker, author, visionary leader, and champion for the power of the arts and artists in the local church. She served for over 20 years as the Programming Director for Willow Creek Community Church in suburban Chicago, a congregation known around the world for creating culturally relevant, biblically based services that make full use of the arts.

Dedicated to creating opportunities for artists in the church to use their gifts for effective ministry, her role at Willow included supervision of all aspects of the arts—including worship, music, drama, dance, photography, production, video, and design.  Today Nancy continues her role as a teaching pastor at Willow Creek, while also serving as the Executive Vice President for the Arts at the Willow Creek Association, a not-for-profit organization serving over 12,000 Member churches and others, representing 90 denominations in 35 countries. This new responsibility allows her to focus the majority of her time on serving other church arts leaders and their teams in the U.S. and around the world, building a community of Christ-following artists seeking to serve God as they create transformational moments in Sunday morning church services.

A sought-after conference speaker, Nancy uses her teaching gifts to inspire, motivate, and cast vision, while skillfully relating themes of soul transformation with every day people and experiences. Her book, The Hour on Sunday, expresses Nancy’s core vision and values for effective arts ministries. Nancy and her husband Warren live in Barrington with their two teenage daughters and a cat named Elphaba.

EXCHANGE 2009 

A leadership coaching network exclusively for women.  Revitalize your spirit and empower your leadership.  1 day a month Aug. - Nov.

If you’re a gifted and called woman in Christian leadership, join others like yourself for a coaching network.  Walk away with a renewed energy, focus and passion after spending concentrated time with 4 national leadership mentors. Connect with other women of like heart and purpose.  Choose intentional growth with a personal plan designed for you. 

Limited attendance of -20. 

Email dseeley@winfluence.org for application.

Check back for more info including interviews with each mentor.

Have you ever run out of gas? I did once. I was driving a 2 hour trip from Birmingham to Madison and my mom was with me.  Mom noticed the gauge was close to empty and suggested we stop.  I didn’t want to stop on I65 for gas. My preference was a different location. We were already late and had an agenda.  And I felt sure I could  make it.  We almost made it but the car stopped soon after exiting the freeway.  Bummer.  Running out of gas was a much bigger setback than if I had taken just a few minutes to fill up.

Driving on empty is not smart. Leading on empty is less smart. Did you know that the majority of Christian leaders burn out? The research is startling. Few finish well. Just as I had a choice to fill up with gas and avoid running out, you too can choose not to burn out in ministry.  The choice is ours.

Make the decision not to lead on empty. Ministry is a marathon, not a sprint.  Make the decisions today that will help you go the distance. Here are 6 decisions that are necessary to stay fueled…

1.  Guard your time with God.  Choose to make your time with God a priority over anything else.  A daily devotional time with the Lord in prayer and His Word will enable you to minister from an overflow of your walk.  Without plugging into the power source we minister in the flesh.  Preparing for a sermon, Bible study or any other type of ministry is not a quiet time. I’ve known plenty of people in ministry burn out who were actively studying and teaching the Word but were not spending personal devotional time in the Word.

2.  Choose your inner circle carefully.  Everyone needs an inner circle. Finding one can sometimes be a challenge but it is a necessary part of refueling.  The inner circle is  a topic I will blog about next month.

3.  Be willing to unplug at least once a year.  I choose to go dark at least once every 12 months.  During this time I don’t email, blog, twitter, FB, or take ministry phone calls.  I totally unplug for an extended period of time.  In case of a real emergency there is at least one person I trust who can reach me.  The extra time this allows is great for refueling.

4.  Protect one day a week. If we want to model obedience to God and His Word we will take one sabbath a week. If you are in full time ministry this will not be Sunday.  You are cheating your family when you don’t do this. My children feel very loved and affirmed when I don’t engage in ministry on this day.  Kids are smart. They know when you make them a priority and they know when you don’t.

5.  Be willing to say no.  You can’t do everything and do what God called you to do.  If you don’t design your life other people will be happy to.  Just say no.

6.  Keep growing. What is your personal growth plan? A leader who stops growing stops leading.

These are what I feel are the top 6 decisions we can make to refuel.  Which one is the greatest challenge for you personally?  Our decisions will determine our destination.

Have you experienced burn out?  Would love to hear what helped you to refuel. 

The #1 difference between Habakkuk and his peeps was attitude.  This is also the #1 quality that you will see in someone spiritually mature vs. younger in their faith.  Habakkuk grew in his faith as he developed his intimacy with the Lord.  He once felt frustrated and annoyed, with maturity he felt trust and peace. He once felt confused, he then had understanding.  He once felt fearful, he then had faith in the future God had planned.  The only thing that changed his perspective…time with God in prayer and His Word.  This brings spiritual maturity. Without it we will be tempted to live driven by our emotions vs. character.

This week I have been  reading  through Habakkuk.  From his example I continue to learn the the #1 job of a leader is not being a “doer.”  As a prophet his job was to feed and guide his peeps but this was not his first priority.  His #1 job was his own personal walk with God. I imagine to live that out he had to turn down several other ministries that he could have been involved in.  He probably had to turn down time with people to guard his walk with God. Maybe he referred some counseling requests to others. I wonder if folks got ticked off at him because he did not do everything they thought a spiritual leader should? Maybe he went to  bed before midnight so that he could get up while it was still dark to pray.  Do you think he turned down watching much TV so  that he could live out his priorities?  I imagine the choices he made caused others to question what he was doing at times.

In the New Testament, we learn that Peter gave himself to the Word of God and Prayer. This is the #1 job of a spiritual leader.

I love Habakkuk.  God called him to  lead in troubled times. His name means to embrace. In the beginning of his ministry he struggled with God and the decisions He made, He felt that the Lord was not answering his prayers fast enough and was kind of ticked off about it. Have you ever felt that?  This prophet questioned how God could  be so tolerant of such a sinful and immoral Judah. Then when Habakkuk learns God is going to use a nation more wicked to discipline and correct Judah he freaks out. God, Do you really know what you are doing here?  Through it all Habakkuk learns to trust and in the end of this book has developed a deep intimacy with God.

Are you or have you ever been in a situation where God does not seem to make sense? Maybe you feel the need to be rescued. Maybe you wonder why someone seems to be getting away with wicked behavior.  Maybe you have circumstances where have been in a deep trial for a long time and just don’t understand why there is no help on the horizon. You may question what in the heck God is doing. Or why he does not seem to be doing anything. And life goes on.  Through it all may we learn to trust the Lord and develop a greater intimacy with Him as Habakkuk did. Can I challenge you to read the book of Habakkuk? It’s filled with so many great life lessons.

Last night I was on night watch with my youngest son.  Most of you know what this is, but just in case you have not had the experience ~ night watch is caring for someone who is ill during the sleep hours.  Aaron has severe asthma and fortunately it has been well controlled since his last severe attack in October of 2007.  Last night around 10PM he started coughing which is a red flag to begin his breathing treatments.  To our dismay his nebulizer would not work so Todd and I made the decision that Aaron would sleep in our room so that I could watch him during the night.  I was very attentive so that I could hear every breath he made.

This morning I was reading in Habakkuk 2 and was struck by vs. 1:  I will stand on my guard post and station myself on the rampart.  And I will keep watch to see what He will speak to me.  This guard post means the same as a watch tower and it implies that Habakkuk waited on the Lord.  Waiting is an act that most leaders dislike.  We learn in this book that leaders must learn to cherish the waiting time before they get their answers.  We learn in Habakkuk that:

• Not everything that happens conforms to God’s will and wishes
• Nothing that happens gets overlooked by God
• Everything that happens will one day be addressed with justice
• Nothing that happens should distract us from continuing to respond faithfully

Only when we listen will we hear what God wants to say to us.

Can I share some good news with those of you who haven’t found your God-ordained passion or dream,  big audacious goal or one God idea or life mission? Here it is: God wants you to get where God wants you to go more than you want to get where God wants you to go. So that takes the pressure off of us.  But there are some necessary prerequisites to knowing where God wants you. Here they are…

#1 Prerequisite - A Relationship With Jesus

Many of my readers have already accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and acknowledged Him as Lord.  But if you have not made this important decision, most of what you read on this blog will have little meaning for you. Spiritual matters can only be understood by those who have the Spirit of Christ dwelling in them (see 1 Cor. 2:14).

If you don’t know for certain that you are a Christian or have doubts, now is the time to settle the matter and accept Jesus as your Savior and Lord.  Ask God to speak to you as you read the following Scriptures.

·         Romans 3:23 All have sinned.

·         Romans 6:23 Eternal life is a free gift of God.

·         Romans 5:8 Because of His love for you, Jesus paid the death penalty for your sins.

·         Romans 10:9-10 Confess Jesus as Lord and believe that God raised Him from the dead.

·         Romans 10:13 Ask God to save you and He will. 

To place your faith in Jesus and receive His gift of eternal life, you must —

·         Recognize you are a sinner who needs a saving relationship with Jesus Christ.

·         Confess (agree with God about) your sins.

·         Repent of your sins (turn from sin to God).

·         Ask Jesus to save you by His grace.

·         Turn over the rule of your life to Jesus, letting Him be your Lord.

If you need help, call on a pastor or a Christian friend for help.  If you have just made this important decision, tell someone the good news of what God has done in your life. Email me at dseeley@winfluence.org  with your address and I will mail you a free Bible. Then find a church that teaches the Bible and will help you grow in your relationship with Jesus.

#2  Prerequisite – A Daily Time with God.

Can you imagine going on a trip across country without a map, GPS or road signs?  Even with a good sense of direction it would be very difficult to reach your desired destination.  Can you imagine going on a flight with a pilot who flew his plane by intuition?  You could expect to crash. Same with life. If you don’t spend regular time with God in His word you will struggle with knowing where He wants you or what He wants you to do.  You may often think God is distant or lack intimacy with Him.  Scripture tells us Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. You can enjoy intimacy with the Lord.

To know God and what He wants to say to you personally you must prayerfully read His word.  I hear people say that they spend daily time with God because they pray all the time…shower, car, while listening to music, on the subway, bus and at the office. This is good but to know God and what he has to say to you the Bible is a necessary part. And not just a devotional book or a book written about God or even a Bible study book that someone has written.  A devotion or a quiet time is spending time with the Lord in prayer and His word. Not just praying in your car on the way to work.  If you are in a Bible study ask the leader to personally teach you how to have a quiet time. 

Until we know how to have a quiet time we will continue to make decisions based on our emotions vs. what God wants us to do and also be dependent on others for our spiritual growth.  Even prayer regarding a decision will be influenced by our emotions  vs. the Holy Spirit.  A few years ago a pastor friend went to visit the wife of another pastor who was in the hospital with terminal cancer.  He casually asked her How has the Lord been speaking to you through His Word?  Long story short…the woman said she prayed all the time but admitted she had no idea how to have a devotion, no one had really ever taught her, nor had she ever heard anyone speak like  this.  Our friend spent time teaching her how this can be done and had a quiet time with her.  At her funeral the husband went over and said to our friend…Thanks for what you did to help my wife spiritually. She said her last 6 months were the best she had ever had with God. The husband shared this to encourage and thank the co-worker but our friend felt very sad that this woman in her 60’s, married to a pastor, did not know who to have a quiet time and hear God speak through His word. When we know how to have a quiet time we will know how to recognize the Lord speaking to us and our spiritual growth will come from this daily fellowship with God.

#3 Prerequisite – Short Accounts With God and Others

The Bible is very clear that if there is sin in our heart against God or another person God will not answer our prayer (Psalm 66:18, Romans 12:18, Matt. 5:23-24).  I had a friend who once said that spiritual maturity is not someone who never blows it but someone who is quick to confess and deal thoroughly with sin.  Immaturity is one who attempts to justify or excuse sin. 

Pride and a calloused heart will hinder us from keeping short accounts with God and others.  I believe if we are in fellowship with a Holy God we will be convicted on a regular basis of sin. If it has been a while since you felt convicted by the Holy Spirit check your heart to see if it has grown calloused. 

As you follow Jesus one day at a time, He will keep you in the center of God’s will.  The Holy Spirit will be your personal teacher and the Scriptures your source of authority.